Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

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Hillbilly Funeral Customs

st pats postcard

More death and burial folklore from famous hillbilly folklorist Vance Randolph:

Time Stops: When a death finally occurs, one of the bereaved neighbors rises immediately and stops the clock. Everybody knows that if the clock should happen to stop of itself while a corpse is lying in the house, another member of the family would die within a year, and it’s best not to take no chances.

Reflections: The next thing to do is cover every mirror in the house with white cloths, which are not removed until after the funeral. This is done out of consideration for those who may come in to view the body, for it one of them should glimpse his own reflection in the house of death, it is believed that he will never live to see another summer.

“New Fangled Customs”: In some houses, immediately after a death occurs, the chairs are all turned up so that nobody can sit in them, and people who come into the presence of the dead are forced to stand. Randolph could never find the source of this belief and was told by one old-timer that it is a new-fangled custom, brought into the country by some outlanders about 1880.

Dirty Laundry: When a hillman dies all his bedding and articles of clothing are immediately hung on a line outdoors. People coming far down the road see this and know that the patient is dead. In predicting a sick man’s demise, I have heard people say “Poor Jim’s britches will be a-hangin out most any day now!”

Neighborhood Cleanup: The hillfolk have a veritable mania for washing dead bodies; the moment a death occurs the neighbors strip the corpse and begin to scrub it vigorously. A man may be dirty all his life, and in his last illness his body and bedding may be so foul that one can hardly stay in the cabin, but he goes to his grave clean. All of the work connected with a death- washing and dressing the body, is done by friends and neighbors. Not one of the near relatives of the deceased will have any part in these doings, except in the direst necessity.

Today’s tip: Perfect your yodel.

Full Bird

vintage postcard

Most of the time, the calls we field are families in distress, and occasionally, like any business, you get the odd bird. The Colonial, for instance.

This gentleman insisted that I address him by his “first” name “The Colonial”, and he had questions.

I had answers.

Next, we moved to his favorite topic. HIZ SELF and his many great accomplishments in military service. Wow! If it was true, I might like to know more, so I asked for his full name. “Why? you gonna look me up?” He asked. “Sure.” I said, “Have you ever Googled yourself?”

“Uh, no.” he answered.

“Well. You must be CLASSIFIED,” I said, “there’s nothing here.” He responded that indeed, all of his work was TOP SECRET.

Agreed. Because, what I didn’t mention? The only information that came up under his name was sex offender info.

heritage flag and medal case

In Memory of GGA

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And departing, leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time.

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Doris Duke

doris duke

The movie “Bernard and Doris” was on HBO a couple of weeks ago and after watching it, we wanted to find out more about Doris Duke, The tobacco heiress had a $1.2 billion estate that was the subject of much litigation. A New York judge ordered the removal of two co-executors of Duke’s $1.2 billion estate. The court found that Duke’s butler Bernard Lafferty was squandering her estate to support his “profligate life style” and that United States Trust Company failed to slow down Lafferty’s spending.

Duke was cremated 24 hours after her death and her ashes scattered over the Pacific Ocean, Lafferty sent a small container of the ashes to Marshfield, Missouri, a town that Duke had grown to admire during her years as a world traveler. Duke had visited Marshfield during a large tent revival, where she enjoyed the music. Duke’s ashes were buried in a local cemetery and a stone was placed to honor her memory. She was locally known as a philanthropist since she often sent large sums of money for various projects, frequently without publicity.

Marshfield, MO?

Here’s a sample of her last will and testament:

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF DORIS DUKE

I, DORIS DUKE, a resident of and domiciled in the State of New Jersey, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be my Last Will and Testament, hereby revoking all wills and codicils at any time heretofore made by me.

ONE: A. I direct that there be no funeral service or memorial service of any kind for me and that I be buried at sea.

B. I give my eyes to THE EYE BANK FOR SIGHT RESTORATION INC., New York, New York, and I hereby ratify all that anyone theretofore may have done toward carrying out this gift.

FOUR: A. The following loans were owed to me as of August, 1991:

1. DR. ROBERT NIXON: Fifty-Eight Thousand Dollars ($58,000)

2. ELEANOR LAWSON: Sixteen Thousand Five Hundred Dollars (516,500).

3. FRANCO ROSSELLINI: One Hundred Fifty-Eight Thousand Dollars ($158,000).

4. VERA CYCKMAN: Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000).

5. EDWARD LEIATO: Thirty Thousand Dollars ($30,000).

6 RAPHAEL RECTO: One Hundred Thousand Dollars ($100,000).

I direct that, to the extent that these loans shall be outstanding at the time of my death, such loans shall be forgiven.

B. I direct that my Executors make reasonable arrangements with IMELDA MARCOS (or the legal representatives of her estate, if she shall not survive me) for the repayment of the Five Million Dollars ($5,000,000), plus accrued interest, that I loaned to her pursuant to a demand note dated March 6, 1990, such repayment to be made when Mrs. Marcos and the Philippines government settle their financial dispute or at such other time as my Executors shall deem appropriate in their absolute discretion.

3. If I shall be survived by a dog owned by me and residing at my death at my residence known as Falcon’s Lair, in Beverly Hills, California, I give such dog to the caretaker of such property at my death or, if such caretaker is at any time unwilling or unable to care for such dog, to one of the foundations created under this Will or of which I was a member, director, trustee or officer at my death which is caring for other dogs of mine. If I shall be survived by a dog owned by me and located at my death at Falcon’s Lair, I give and bequeath the sum of One Hundred Thousand Dollars ($100,000) to my Trustees, to be held by them in a separate trust for the benefit of such dog, with the income and principal thereof to be disposed of as follows:

a. My Trustees, at any time and from time to time, shall apply such part or all or none of the net income and principal of the trust for the benefit of such dog, at such times and in such amounts as my Trustees, in their absolute discretion, shall deem necessary for the care, feeding, comfort, maintenance and medical treatment of such dog, even though any such application or applications may result in the termination of the trust. At the end of each year of the trust, my Trustees shall accumulate and add to principal any net income not so applied, any such capitalized income thereafter to be disposed of as a part of such principal.

b. Upon the earlier to occur of (i) the death of such dog and (ii) twenty-one (21) years after my death, the trust shall terminate. Upon such termination, the principal of the trust remaining at that time, and any accrued and undistributed income, shall be added to my residuary estate and disposed of in accordance with the provisions of Article EIGHT hereof.

Sources: Wikipedia and Court TV

Inspiration

No time for diversions, but projects that have caught our eye of late:

mini fairy garden

This baby garden for small spaces. The artist used a cast-off wooden tray and does not recommend wood containers for YOUR fairy garden. It WILL ruin the furniture if you want a table top version. Note to self: Water plants.

In a desperate quest for something alive and green I bought two cat palms on clearance from you know where. They need a drink and some lovin.

Decorating the stump: My Stump, my stump, my ugly lovely rotten tree stump. It’s a Spring Ritual, the decorating of the stump. I’m ready to have it bored out. Dirtsister has been able to create some beauty there, but it will have to be reworked.

bird bath

Add a stone song bird obliesk. Hate that word btw. Obliesk. Can’t spell or say it.
And maybe some garden gnomes. And turtles. Love turtles and gnomes.
garden stone

Here’s another idea we like: Custom Tassles for personalization on glass and metal urns. Is it too foo-foo? Will have to think on.

tassle

And then while we are on foo-foo textiles, I love this look as a shroud.

anna nichole smith

And finally: Life Lesson #22 From Rosie the Chihuahua DAWG

dog

“Bless you, my child.”