Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

memorial service

The Brief Life of Khighla Parks

The memorial service for 15 year old Khighla Parks (pronounced Kyla) was held in our area this week.  Khighla was loved in her community and went missing for several days and her body was found by fisherman in Truman Lake. Khighla loved horses and was buried in the cemetery where she used to go for a quiet moment to talk to God.

Khighla ParksA Celebration of Life ceremony was held and a horse drawn wagon delivered her casket to the cemetery where she was laid to rest. “I don’t believe this is goodbye,” said the Rev. Scotty Killingsworth. “I believe this is good night, so long, see you later.”

A couple of observations about the media coverage. Once again the word “funeral” was never mentioned by any of the outlets covering the event. I understand that the television stations have to make a dollar, but monetizing the video clip of the funeral with advertising seems inappropriate. In fact, the only time I can remember that a news video on one particular station did not have an ad attached to it was for a memorial created for the Joplin tornado victims.

Regardless, we’re sending out prayers to the family and hope law enforcement can resolve the many questions and bring peace to the family.

Why Wait for the Memorial? Celebrate Life!

Jeff Sass wrote about his experience at a memorial tribute for a friend of the family.

It was a true celebration of a life, and an evening filled with much more laughter than tears.  There were probably 400 people in attendance, and a heavy presence of both law enforcement professionals and leather clad bikers, two seemingly disparate communities, yet my friend’s dad was clearly beloved by both.

To say it was inspirational would be a gross understatement.

I think I learned many things last night, but the one thing I want to try harder to focus on is to celebrate life now.  I want to celebrate my life and all that I have to be grateful for, and I want to celebrate the lives of my children and my family and all the people that I love.  I don’t want to wait for the memorial.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 22, Ethan, 20 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  See more of Jeff’s writing at Dadomatic.

Yes, We Sell Rocks

vintage dove postcard


Jessica wanted to create a memorial stone for a one of the dispatchers at the police station in Michigan.

We can do custom work but the logo she wanted to use was too small and multi-layered.

What else could we use? Police badge was out of the question, she wasn’t a cop. What about the town mascot? Turns out, it’s is a Beaver.

The answer was a resounding “No”.

How about a dove for the dispatcher? The messenger.

dove stained glass

Client loved it!

“I just received the stone this morning and it looks great.  Thanks again for all of your help.”

Stained glass image courtesy of Down East Stained Glass, check  their site for more beautiful custom stained glass designs.


Build Me Up Buttercup

Snowdrops and daffodils are strong and beautiful.  They survive  harsh weather conditions, neglect, and continue to multiply.

City planners and developers love the Bradford Pear tree and it’s always an early bloomer.

The Bradford Pear has a distinct odor. Lately? I’ve been smelling a strong cat pee odor.  Turns out?  It’s the Bradford Pear trees!

Forsythia brings the explosion of early spring color. My neighbor sculpts and manicures his bush, trying to keep it contained. Personally, I think it looks better on the wild side, like fireworks.

Do Not Disturb

vintage postcard

In our culture we honor the dead by carving their names in stone, staging celebrations of life, and personalizing any and all funeral accessories from the casket to the urn.

In contrast, here in the Bible Belt, I’ve attended a few services that where the body is on display (usually in a church) but the ceremony itself is actually an altar call for the “lost”.

In talking with Native Americans I’ve learned that in their culture, it is forbidden to mention the name of the deceased for fear of disturbing and disrupting the journey of the spirit.

Recently, a friend in Texas attended her neighbor’s funeral and was saddened that the minister never mentioned the deceased, only HIS relationship with God.

We never learned anything about his mother. We didn’t learn where she was born and grew up, who she married, or the names of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We didn’t learn if she had any hobbies, or if she had ever belonged to any church or community organization.

I’d like to think this was a culture clash and not a minister with a captive audience. We just have to hope the family was satisfied with the service.

The message here is, depending on your beliefs and desires for the funeral service DON’T ASSUME that your pastor or family member will know what you want for your loved ones. Write it down, ask questions, or communicate your wishes to the funeral director handling the service.

Today’s Tip: Celebrate Life