Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

planning a memorial service

Memorial Idea – August Birth Flower, Gladiolus

For our loved ones that were born in the month of August, a good starting place for planning a memorial theme is the August birth flower, the gladiolus.

august birth flower

Striking beauty, from the Latin word “gladius,” meaning sword. Glads symbolize strength and moral integrity.

If you don’t know the loved one’s favorite color, you could draw on the colors the Peridot gemstone.  Peridot is the August birthstone and is mainly green, with golden yellows and brown inclusions. The color of summer.

peridot august gem

Ancient Egyptians called peridot “The Gem of the Sun” because it was supposedly too bright to be visible in the sunny Egyptian desert. Legend also suggests that peridot can glow at night and it’s now believed that Cleopatra´s emeralds were really fine, dark green peridots.

colorful urns for ashes

Drawing on the color of peridot and the color of summer, Urngarden.com has green and gold urns at a tremendous savings for families.

Check out this unusual idea for a simple, elegant floating glad floral arrangement.

floating gladiolius

Funeral for a Friend: Celebration at Sea

coral rose

Recently, I had the good fortune to connect with a local blogger who inspired me with several stories of her life experiences.  She graciously allowed me to share a very touching memorial service that she participated in:

My dear friend Leslie was my roommate my freshman year at Drury College and also a sorority sister.  She died of cancer in 1997 and Sally and I still are pissed at her because she naturally went out in the most awesome way.

Before she died, she instructed her husband, Bob,  to take a group of us to Monterey, CA for a weekend – all expenses paid at a B&B including gourmet meals and on her birthday, we all climbed aboard a boat and had the captain take us beyond the 3-mile mark where we had a memorial service and spread her ashes.

monterey bay

Bob brought her favorite flowers, coral roses, for us to throw on top of the ashes and we were all incredibly weepy until somone started telling “Leslie stories” which had us all in tears of laughter which lasted through her memorial luncheon at the Monterey Aquarium.  Leave it to Leslie to set the bar so damned high in life AND in death!

Do Not Disturb

vintage postcard

In our culture we honor the dead by carving their names in stone, staging celebrations of life, and personalizing any and all funeral accessories from the casket to the urn.

In contrast, here in the Bible Belt, I’ve attended a few services that where the body is on display (usually in a church) but the ceremony itself is actually an altar call for the “lost”.

In talking with Native Americans I’ve learned that in their culture, it is forbidden to mention the name of the deceased for fear of disturbing and disrupting the journey of the spirit.

Recently, a friend in Texas attended her neighbor’s funeral and was saddened that the minister never mentioned the deceased, only HIS relationship with God.

We never learned anything about his mother. We didn’t learn where she was born and grew up, who she married, or the names of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We didn’t learn if she had any hobbies, or if she had ever belonged to any church or community organization.

I’d like to think this was a culture clash and not a minister with a captive audience. We just have to hope the family was satisfied with the service.

The message here is, depending on your beliefs and desires for the funeral service DON’T ASSUME that your pastor or family member will know what you want for your loved ones. Write it down, ask questions, or communicate your wishes to the funeral director handling the service.

Today’s Tip: Celebrate Life