Confessions

When there are so many types of cremation urn to buy, families tell us all the time that it’s overwhelming when they have to shop for a cremation urn. Nerves are shattered, they are emotional, and let’s get real….no one wants to shop for an urn. After shopping around and seeing all the styles that are available to buy, they know it when they see it. Added complications are when you are dealing with a committee and you have to run the choice by other family members and get everyone to agree.

Sometimes though, the family has a vision, and that makes it easier. Here’s a few examples of recent interactions and the type of urns that they bought.

Santa Rosa Beach Urn

Mom and Dad were living my dream of being a snow bird. For 20 years they spent winters from November to April at the same resort in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. Mom’s health was poor and they were not able to go this year. Instead, they planned for an Easter brunch with family.

Mother fixed lunch and then completed addressing 20 Easter cards with a personal message for friends and family, And then? She died. Everyone knew she was ill, but it was so sudden, her husband and children were shocked.

Her son called after searching for “cremation vase beach”, he found the Santa Rosa Beach urn that was perfect for his mother. The problem was, he had a tight spot in a niche at the columbarium that he thought this urn might be too tall for. It was.

The good news is that we had the same style in a box (Salt Life) that he could order, get it personalized and delivered in time for his mother’s memorial service.

Raku Dragonfly Ceramic Urn

A client in California called after her mom passed away looking for a funeral urn that would be creative and unique, like her artist mother. Another requirement was that the urn had to be American made.

She chose the Raku Dragonfly Urn, made in the USA and signed by the artist. She was willing to wait a few weeks to get the urn produced. The husband and wife team that make the urns have a busy small business creating handmade memorials that are worth waiting for.

Madonna and Child Urn for Ashes

An Arizona customer is off to a bad start in 2023 after losing his mom after caring for her for the last several years in his home. He described his mom as a loving, church going lady.

His father has been diagnosed with dementia and had to be placed in memory care and that was not going well. Prior to being placed in a facility, his dad was hard to handle and even though being told by his doctor and family that he could no longer drive, he continued, causing a lot of stress and anxiety for his grown children. I could hear the fatigue in his voice.

Sky Blue Cultured Marble and Walnut Celtic Cross Box for Ashes

Two pilots that recently died, one on the job and the other was retired.

The widow picked the Sky Blue Cultured Marble urn because it reminded her of clouds, engraved with her husbands name in silver.

The son of the retired pilot chose a hand rubbed walnut box for ashes with the Celtic Cross on top, he also had it personalized. We rushed production on this one, but once we got it on the truck for transit, things went sideways with UPS and that is another story for another day.

Both of these urns were created by American artists.

Biodegradable Memento Urn for Water

Miami Beach customer bought the Memento Urn a year ago. The biodegradables have a stable shelf life if stored properly. He is just now getting around to having the memorial service, but discovered he could not find the box that the urn came in that had the instructions for filling or the water soluble bag and glue.

After his call for help, we were able to email instructions and help him source the other items needed to complete the process and get him ready to disperse the ashes.

The Memento is good for families that want a clean green funeral service and despite it’s unusual football shape, it comes in several colors and is ideal for a water or earth burial.

Depending on your needs, your vision, your loved one’s personality, there are many color, shapes and sizes of cremation urns. We can help you through it.

Recently, a friend of the family died suddenly, and his death shook us all to the core. It was confusing really, because he had unsuccessfully attempted suicide before. This time though, he accomplished the mission. He was only 27 and left behind a young son who adored his daddy. We weren’t shocked, yet we were. How do you explain this event to a child?

The life of our friend was difficult. In and out of foster care while growing up, criminal activity, drug and alcohol addictions, mental illness. All took its toll on him and on his family. But it wasn’t all dark. He was a big man with a big heart. He was a talented mechanic and a loving father and brother.

He had periods of clarity when he was clean and sober. This usually seemed to occur when he was in the care of one of his sisters. Once he would leave the saftey of their sanctuary, and go out on his own, it seems he wasn’t able to acclimate into the world, and the demons would return with a vengence. Now we realize that he needed a handler, he needed a director. Someone to guide and help him navigate. Hindsight is 20-20.

All of this to say, that planning a funeral was challenging. The family was open and honest about his struggles and used his obituary to raise awareness about mental health and substance abuse. Our friend was a car nut and one of his buddies organized a car show and burn out competition in his memory to raise funds for a children’s charity.

The family chose cremation and picked a beautiful metallic blue urn that was his favorite color. Some of the siblings wanted cremation jewelry and selected wrenches to honor his trade in auto mechanics.

He wasn’t a religious man, did not belong to a church, and with his difficult past, the family was torn about what to do regarding securing someone to preside over the memorial service. They didn’t want a stranger to get up and just read the obituary. The siblings didn’t feel strong enough to do eulogies themselves. The funeral home suggested a Funeral Celebrant that was able to connect us with someone who we were able to meet with and discuss our loved one’s life history and then the Celebrant was able to craft a nice eulogy that just fit.

Celebrants are trained to meet with a family, to hear their stories and to design a meaningful and unique service that honors the life and memories of the loved one. They are the voice of the family, putting all the elements that the family wishes to incorporate into a tribute that touches hearts and gives each person that attends the funeral something special to remember.

While getting to know the Celebrant that we worked with, I asked her, “What was the most challenging service you ever did”? She said the most memorable memorial service involved a young man of 35 who was killed in a police shootout. His early life was lived in a hollowed-out tree in a park with a drug-addicted mother and, not surprisingly, he was an addict by the age of 14. In an attempt to find sobriety, he went to AA at the age of 20 and met a young woman who was also trying to get clean. They married and had two beautiful little girls.

Her story:

He just had too many strikes against him with mental illness and addiction and ended up spending eight years in prison. His wife divorced him and made a new life for her girls, but the daughters stayed in touch through letters while he was serving his sentences.

He was released from prison in November of 2011 and was staying in a halfway house. One night he went on a binge and broke into a small suburban police station/city hall. He wrote strange words in his own blood on the walls and grabbed the lone policeman’s gun and shot him in the floor. A whole contingent of Oklahoma City police responded to the call, and he was shot 22 times.

His daughters, now 12 and 11, told their mother that they wanted to have a funeral for their dad. So, the mother called, and we met, along with one of his drug buddies, at a Barnes & Noble in the middle of Christmas shoppers for a family meeting. They gave me the few stories that they knew, and asked that I honor the fact that he tried his very best, no matter how broken he was, and that he always loved his girls.

The service was held at night with no announcement in the media because the family did not any attention. There were about 25 people who had been important in this young man’s life who came to the funeral home with fear and dread, not knowing what kind of service this could possibly be.

I tried to give voice to his hopes, his dreams, his struggles and his ongoing efforts to find the right path. The daughters and I lit candles in his honor, and I reminded the girls that he could now be in the stars watching over them and loving them. We played the songs -Hallelujah-by Rufus Wainwright and -Amazing Grace- by Judy Collins, and together everyone recited the Serenity Prayer. Keepsakes for friends and family were beautiful, brightly colored stars. Each person left feeling relieved that the service had been so honest and yet so positive, and glad that they had an opportunity to gather to share memories and support each other.

Without a celebrant willing to take on such a difficult service, that little family’s last memory of their loved one would have been his picture splattered all over the news and video of the bloody walls and shattered windows where he had been shot.

That was certainly one of those moments when I was so grateful to be able and available to offer a few moments of healing for a hurting family.

So many times, when there is a sudden tragic death, especially with a younger person, whether it be drug overdose, suicide, or senseless violence, the families are so grief stricken and sometimes deep in pain or shame that the there is no further mention of the deceased. That person dies and just disappears. It’s been said that funerals are for the living. You have options to help with the healing and closure that a funeral or memorial service can provide no matter how tragic the circumstances.

With the rise in cremation and more families exposed to shopping on the internet, buyers are getting more savvy and educated about their choices. We’ve been in business long enough now that for some of our customers, this isn’t their first time to buy an urn.

What Size Urn Do I Need?

One of the first steps in buying an urn is determining size. Whether you need full size adult urn, an urn for two, or smaller size for sharing or pets, keepsakes (mini size for storing just a little bit of ashes) There are so many choices available.

Who Are You Doing Business With? 

Before you buy, check to see who you are doing business with. Is there a phone number, or live chat that you can contact and speak to a real human? Do they have a good rating with the Better Business Bureau?

We recommend that if you have questions, no matter how insignificant you may think they are, you should call or email and get the answers you need. If it happens to be a weekend, we may not return the call until Monday, but we will answer your questions as soon as possible. If you leave a message, be sure and provide good contact information so that we can reach you if needed.

When Will the Urn Be Delivered?

Most of our inventory is shipped from our warehouse in the Midwest. Many of the sites on the internet are drop shipping from another location, and we do as well on some styles. If you have a definite delivery date that you need to receive the urn by, by all means, reach out and confirm that your needs will be met.

Most carriers will drop off the package without a signature if you are not home. It’s important that you provide a secure location for delivery. If you are not shipping to the funeral home and you won’t be home to receive the package, please consider an alternate secure location.

What is the Urn Made Out Of? 

Next in the selection process would be to determine what is the plan for where the cremation urn will be stored. Will it be buried, stored in the home, will the ashes be scattered at a later date? These are important decisions that may impact the style you select.

Whether a customer is shopping an urn for the ashes of a person or a pet, some people seem to care about where the memorial is made. These buyers tend to prefer an American made product, are open to products made in India, and they definitely don’t want Chinese. We’ve mentioned before that often the customer wants an American made memorial, but when making the final decision, they chose the import, usually due to cost. There seems to be a shift now and the trend is that they’ll pay more for an urn that is manufactured in the USA.

Here’s a brief rundown on the common materials used in the urn world and where the country of origin is:

METAL URNS: More families buy metal urns. Premium cast bronze is our specialty, is the top of the line, and proudly made in America.

The most popular styles of metal urns are brass, aluminum, some steel and copper that comes from India, Vietnam, and a couple of styles from USA.

By far, the metal vase shape is preferred by families that need an adult human size, but box type containers are good for burial and niche spaces.

Most of the metal urns come in smaller mini sizes, called Keepsake Urns. Popular nature themes are cardinals and hummingbirds and are usually imported and of excellent quality.

WOODEN CREMATION URNS: Mix of USA, India, and China. Walnut tends to be the most expensive wood and is usually sourced in the US. The imports are usually Birch wood or an MDF.

CERAMIC AND POTTERY Urns for Ashes: Many styles are made by American artists, some are imported from Asia.

MARBLE AND STONE Containers for Ashes: Mined from all over the world.

CREMATION JEWELRY: Again, a mix on the jeweler locations. We have an extensive line of sterling and gold finishes that are created by American jewelers. Most of the jewelry on any site will be shipped from the jewelers location. In the last few years, the Chinese have entered this market and are making stainless steel pendants and chains.

Biodegradable: Some of the bio urns are made domestically and some are imported. This style is ideal for earth and water friendly burials.

Personalization

If you want your memorial inscribed with names and dates, we may be able to help. Most of our urns can be personalized directly on the surface, with a name plate, or medallion that hangs from the top of the vase shape containers. Personalization may add a little extra processing time.

We are always honored to assist families in making beautiful memorials. We understand that no one wants to shop for an urn and our goal is to make the process a little easier and secure.