Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

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Funeral for a Friendship?

The whole reason I forced myself on Anne of Shifting Gears was a post she wrote about her girlfriends.  The day I read it I knew I had to reconnect with a childhood friend that over the last few years, frankly, I’ve neglected. Five years after starting my own business I realize that in building it, I’ve let my friendships fade. She reminded me the importance of nurturing this part of  life.

In our conversation, she also mentioned that her parents had been cremated and simple wood urns were the natural choice for both parents. They didn’t want their kids to spend a lot on a funeral and didn’t want to be buried.  What to do with the urns? One of Anne’s daughters suggested that since they both loved to read, why not use each urn as a bookend until a final resting place could be determined? So, Anne’s parents reside on the bookshelf in her home for now.

Polaroid image courtesy of: Square America

Funeral for a Friend: Celebration at Sea

coral rose

Recently, I had the good fortune to connect with a local blogger who inspired me with several stories of her life experiences.  She graciously allowed me to share a very touching memorial service that she participated in:

My dear friend Leslie was my roommate my freshman year at Drury College and also a sorority sister.  She died of cancer in 1997 and Sally and I still are pissed at her because she naturally went out in the most awesome way.

Before she died, she instructed her husband, Bob,  to take a group of us to Monterey, CA for a weekend – all expenses paid at a B&B including gourmet meals and on her birthday, we all climbed aboard a boat and had the captain take us beyond the 3-mile mark where we had a memorial service and spread her ashes.

monterey bay

Bob brought her favorite flowers, coral roses, for us to throw on top of the ashes and we were all incredibly weepy until somone started telling “Leslie stories” which had us all in tears of laughter which lasted through her memorial luncheon at the Monterey Aquarium.  Leave it to Leslie to set the bar so damned high in life AND in death!

Awkward Funeral Moment

At my great-Uncle’s funeral my uncle (my great-uncle’s nephew) was talking to his cousin ( the daughter of the deceased) outside of the church. His cousin was holding a small wooden box and after a few minutes, my uncle noticed it looked like she was having a hard time holding it, so he said, “Well, I’ll let you go inside and dump your load” to which she replied, “It’s dad.” Awkward.

From:  Awkward Family Photos

Image: LP Cover Lover

American Indian Military Memorials

Patriotic Postcard

While digging through the archives we were reminded that American Indians have the highest per-capita participation in the armed services of any ethnic group*.

In a 2005 post, this journalist describes the powerful effect that the Marine memorial tradition of the Kevlar helmet mounted atop the soldier’s rifle with dog tags and boots had on her at memorial service held in Iraq.

Military Flag Case Urn
Military Flag Case Urn

 

*Source: American Sociological Association

Adrienne Shelly Memorial Garden

After several years of planning, a Memorial Garden will be dedicated in Abingdon Square Park in New York City, to the memory of Adrienne Shelly, who was killed in 2006.

“This has been a long but very satisfying journey to honor my late wife in the park she loved so much, across from the building in which she lived for many years, worked and died.” said Shelly’s husband, Andy Ostroy,who helped design the memorial garden.

Ostroy chose to stock the plot with Nikko blue hydrangeas (symbolizing understanding)

Obedience, hardy and tolerant of clay soil. Symbolizes graciousness and strength.

Liatris, also known as Blazing Star, symbolizes love.

Campanula, also known as the Bellflower symbolizes gratitude.

and Nepeta, also known as catnip, is lemon-scented with heart-shaped leaves.

Shelly’s memorial garden will be dedicated with a memorial plaque on Aug. 3.

Founded in 1836, and re-opened in 2004, Abingdon Square Park is a tiny, luscious triangle in Greenwich Village. According to neighbors, the park seems almost holy, like a sacrament in the summertime.

The park is dominated by the bronze statue of a soldier holding a flag, the Abingdon “Doughboy,” was designed to “honor the brave men who went forth from this neighborhood to join the armed forces of the United States during the World War.”

Planning a memorial garden or tree dedication? Check out our memorial stones.