• Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Urn Garden Home
  • About

Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

  • Blog Home
  • Confessions
  • Featured Products
  • Memorial Service Ideas
  • Pets

abandoned buildings

Heart-Shaped Urns: A Love Story

February 12, 2017 Kim Stacey

heart urns for ashes

A few days ago the phone rang just as I was settling into work. It was the very first call of the day and (as is often the case) the conversation was both inspiring and instructive. The woman at the other end of the line told me her name was Sarah, and then continued with her story.

She began with the essential fact: “My ex-husband died of colon cancer in 2015.” Sarah then got to the heart of the matter: “I think I’m finally ready to buy an urn and I’m leaning toward the Elegant White Heart Urn. But you have so many cremation urns to choose from–can you help me decide which one I should buy?”

This is a very common scenario here at Urn Garden; people come to us with questions–but with the questions usually comes a story.

I affirmed my ability to help and waited for her to ‘paint me a picture’ of what kind of man he was, who they were as a couple once upon a time, what happened to the marriage, and why the death of her ex-husband was so important to her.

“He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on Thanksgiving Day, 2012. Despite the severity of his condition–or maybe because of it–he chose to undergo surgery and chemotherapy. He spent two and a half years in and out of hospitals, infusion centers, and rehabilitation facilities–and I was with him every step of the way.”

Her voice thickened with emotion. “We’d been divorced for 13 years–just about as long as we were married. We weren’t a very happy couple but we had two wonderful sons, which meant we remained in one another lives ‘for the kids’. Yet, despite everything, here I was, walking this path with a man I’d known–but not necessarily always liked– for 30 years.”

She talked.and I listened, for about 45 minutes. By the end of that time, we had cried, laughed, and gotten closer to the task at hand. It was then my turn to ask a question:

“Why do you think a heart-shaped urn is appropriate for his ashes?”

Sarah grew quiet. “In his final six days at home, when I was with him day and night as his hospice caregiver, we had a chance to forgive one another; to find a comfortable kind of love together. Today, all these months later, Bob Marley’s words run through my mind: ‘one love, one heart, one destiny’. It’s that quality of sharing I’d like to commemorate with a heart urn.”

White Heart Urn for ashes

It took us only another 10 minutes or so to narrow down her selection. Yes, Sarah purchased the Elegant Purple Heart Urn.
“Why purple?” I asked her. “Well, for me, purple symbolizes the depth and mystery of the love we shared at the end. It’s not the bright red of a Valentine’s heart; it’s richer and stronger.”

I understood. For many, the Red Heart Urn is the perfect expression of love; but for Sarah, it was the deep purple which called to her. Before our conversation ended that morning, she had also selected a Purple Heart Glass Urn Pendant.

purple glass heart cremation jewelry

“This way,” she said before hanging up the phone, “I will be reminded of the strength and courage it took us to walk that hard road together. He could have chosen anyone to companion him; but he chose me. He knew we had work to do together to re-create our relationship there at the end. I guess that’s what I’m commemorating in selecting two heart-shaped urns. I will always be reminded of all I gained within the loss. I’m stronger, more resilient, and more appreciative of all we lived through. And appreciation is everything!”

Well said, Sarah.

Where to buy cremation urn

Filed Under: abandoned buildings, Confessions, Featured Products Tagged With: heart shaped cremation jewelry, heart shaped urns for ashes, small heart urns

Surviving Mother’s Day When You’ve Lost a Child

May 12, 2013 urngarden.com

A few years ago one of my friends attended her 22 year old sons’ funeral on Mother’s Day. She still has not recovered and as you can imagine Mother’s Day is a difficult day.

She had high hopes for her son, so smart and handsome. But the last few years, he had been in and out of rehab and was in the process of completing treatment that spring. The facility was out of state and when in contact with his mother he sounded bright about his future and looked forward to coming home and working in the family business. A fresh start.

He never left town. Instead, his mother received the phone call that no one wants. Her son’s body had been discovered in a known drug house and arrangements needed to be made to bring him home.  My friend was shattered and broken. Physically, she’s a strong woman and during this terrible time she could barely stand.

When I saw her a year later she said she was day to day and realized that she would never understand the power of addiction. She needed to remain strong not only for herself, but for the rest of her family. She’s more spiritual than religious and practices healthy eating and vigorous exercise which helped move her through the stages of grief and to realize that she couldn’t save her son. She couldn’t make every choice for this young man. He chose to go to that bad neighborhood. He chose to get high instead of getting on the plane to come home. The family had supported him and  provided the tools and resources to help which makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow.  A memorial service for your son on Mother’s Day? Does not compute.

Filed Under: abandoned buildings, mental health Tagged With: death of a child, grief recovery, losing a child, mourning on mothers day

Memorial Service Fail: Come on Down to the Slaughterhouse

January 3, 2013 urngarden.com

Invitations were emailed for the reopening of the Century Aurora 16 theater January 17 that will be a “special evening of remembrance”. The families of the 12 murder victims and  58 others injured were less than enthusiastic about the personal invite. Aurora mayor Steve Hogan says it’s  part of the community’s healing process..

Sandy Phillips lost her 24 year old daughter in the shooting, and was insulted by the gesture. “None of us received a letter of condolence or any other communication from Cinemark, but now they want us to step foot in that theater,” Phillips said in an interview. “It’s like people going back to a slaughterhouse, as far as I am concerned.”
Read more: Victims’ families of Aurora theater shooting protest remembrance event – The Denver Post

Filed Under: abandoned buildings, Confessions, Memorial Service Ideas Tagged With: aurora movie theater reopening, aurora movie theatre shooting, bad idea memorial service, memorial service fail

Just Sit Tight, We’re On Our Way

September 11, 2009 urngarden.com

Andrew 1: Knock knock.
New York: Who’s there?
Andrew 1: 9/11
New York: 9/11 who?
Andrew 1: You said you’d never forget.

via

Related: Bad Day at the Office

Filed Under: abandoned buildings, ash scattering, funeral service, memorial garden, mental health, obituaries Tagged With: 9-11, WTC

Bye Bye Birdie

September 11, 2009 urngarden.com

click for big

Bird is the word lately. The theme of the day in the garden.

The intern has flown the coop.

The nest is empty. Or is it? After baby bird’s departure, I uncovered a golden egg, and it’s starting to crack.

Peace and prosperity to you!

Filed Under: abandoned buildings, Confessions, Cube World, mental health Tagged With: birds, peace, prosperity, rainbows, skittles, unicorns

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • What the Catholic Church Says About Cremation, Burial, and Funeral
  • Is Amazon Really A Good Place to Buy a Cremation Urn for Ashes?
  • Types of Cremation Urns that Families Buy Pt. 2
  • Types of Urns That Families Buy for Cremation
  • Kiss My Ash Cremation Urn Collection-Some of Our Craziest Engraved Urns

Pages

  • About Us

Death in the Digital Age

  • Beyond Indigo Grief Forum
  • Find A Grave
  • Seven Ponds
  • Talking to Children About Death
  • The Daily Undertaker

Copyright © 2023 Urn Garden · Log in