A few years ago one of my friends attended her 22 year old sons’ funeral on Mother’s Day. She still has not recovered and as you can imagine Mother’s Day is a difficult day.
She had high hopes for her son, so smart and handsome. But the last few years, he had been in and out of rehab and was in the process of completing treatment that spring. The facility was out of state and when in contact with his mother he sounded bright about his future and looked forward to coming home and working in the family business. A fresh start.
He never left town. Instead, his mother received the phone call that no one wants. Her son’s body had been discovered in a known drug house and arrangements needed to be made to bring him home. My friend was shattered and broken. Physically, she’s a strong woman and during this terrible time she could barely stand.
When I saw her a year later she said she was day to day and realized that she would never understand the power of addiction. She needed to remain strong not only for herself, but for the rest of her family. She’s more spiritual than religious and practices healthy eating and vigorous exercise which helped move her through the stages of grief and to realize that she couldn’t save her son. She couldn’t make every choice for this young man. He chose to go to that bad neighborhood. He chose to get high instead of getting on the plane to come home. The family had supported him and provided the tools and resources to help which makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow. A memorial service for your son on Mother’s Day? Does not compute.