Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Cube World

Heal Thyself

horseshoe greetings

So last week I visited the doctor. The Good Doctor knows I don’t come around much; only when needed, and I NEEDED a physical. I pride myself on staying out of the health care system, but I don’t want to be a Melton Medical Mystery either!

A new computer system had been in place for almost a week, and the staff was trying to adapt. “We’re going paperless!”, they announced.

After waiting over an hour to see the doc, in a waiting room full of Sisters of Mercy propaganda and Fortune magazines, I finally got in. To the waiting room. For another 30 minute wait. But they had better mags and a pillow. So I kicked back and relaxed in my paper gown.

Pretty mundane stuff, except for this: as I was checking out, I asked for a cash discount. I’m self pay. No insurance to file.

My bill was not available because? The info wasn’t in the computer yet! One moment while the cashier called the doctor, and guess what? The doctor granted me a 50% discount! Plus, rather than have labs drawn at her place, she directed me to directlabservices.com to order the $89 basic work-up package. Saved me hundreds of dollars.

I heart her.

Overheard at the doctor’s office: “Honey, I’m 75 years old and I don’t know where I am!”

He Gives Me Hope

Owen Hilton

Meet Mr. Owen Hilton.

WWII Military Vet.

Purple Heart.

84.

Works out everyday Monday-Friday. He usually starts shooting baskets about 5:30 in the am.

Takes NO medication, except for: A Baby Aspirin Daily.

Nothing else.

Mr. Hilton is the only 84 year old gent that I know that doesn’t’ take a zillion pills.
He’s a fine Physical Specimen and a nice guy too.

Power Rangers

jack lalane
We decided to push it on the elliptical machine this week, and nearly stroked out. A couple of people wanted to know if I’d been crying. It was that bad. Not my best look.

Whenever I encounter a dedicated fit person, if they’ll allow it, I shake their hand and try to download some of their power. However, I think the timing is off, I need to catch them before the workout and not after….when they are all limp and sweaty. Somehow, the energy is not transferring.

Overheard: one lady trying to get credit for the spin class she’d signed up for. Turns out, she felt like she’d been assaulted by a bike seat.

A yoga nugget from June-I’m-Gonna-Eat That:

I was nearing the end of the workout, and we went into Corpse Pose, which many say is the hardest pose to master. You lie on your back, hands at your side, and completely relax. You don’t move. It’s harder than it sounds.

“You look actually dead,” Marvin said between spaghetti consumption. “Now I’m picturing you actually dead and I’m getting upset.”

Who knew that corpse pose was difficult to master? Now it makes sense. I once had a yoga teacher who would scold me for twitching while trying to relax in corpse pose. That helps.

Fitness attire in the office: It’s what not to wear. In another life I worked in an office with a co-worker who was training for a marathon. He’d do an early morning run and then stroll the halls in his costume, stopping to stretch occasionally as the eight o’clock crowd started rolling in. There were several mornings that I spewed hot coffee upon a sighting.
running suit

What To Do With Dad

vintage postcard

Over the holidays we caught up with friends and acquaintances who are dealing with aging parents. What to do? Some of the stories we’ve heard:

It’s scary riding in the car with them.

They are malnourished because they only eat pie.

The Dad who made a new “friend” who charges him $1500 to replace the battery in the car. This particular gentleman never had a credit card, and suddenly he’s racked up a $10,000 bill, not once but a couple of times with the help of his “friend”. His son is now managing his finances.

In his father’s defense, Dad was a workaholic, working was his hobby and he always had at least two jobs. After a forced retirement, widowed and recently fired from his part-time job for falling asleep on the phone with customers, he’s displaced and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Can’t access his cash without his son’s permission and no wheels.

He’s kind of pissed.

What to do with Dad?

He’s lost his license and continues to drive. Never mind that it’s like Mr. Magoo, driving around oblivious to the pileups in their wake. Can’t see OR turn their head, cuz their neck is locked up.

Recently widowed for the third time, Barbara decided she was going to meet a man. She doesn’t waste time, and traditionally marries within six months of losing her husbands. Sister works it and has been hitting the square dances and makes it clear that she doesn’t want to be alone. One of her sons who lives nearby, noticed hand lettered signs posted along the roadway advertising that his mother was seeking companionship. He ripped them down.

It’s comical and sad, and a real challenge mentally and financially for the Boomers that are still working full-time, raising kids or grandkids and caring for their parents. A good nursing home around here is $5000 a month.

What’s the answer?

UPDATE: Barbara was found in her home earlier this week unconscious and is in ICU. She’s been a bit of a medical mystery as she has no health history, and has not been to the doctor in 47 years……since the birth of her last child. She is in a coma.

Undercover Assignment

ww2 propaganda

Life is strange right now.

The current undercover assignment is both amusing and frustrating.

Here’s what I can reveal.

There are an alarming number of humans on the streets at 4:30 AM jogging, walking, and biking. Also, the brightest star is visible in the eastern sky at that hour. It is Hamal? Or Venus perhaps? Please advise. It’s blinding!

Three Beautiful Things:

    1. Sunrise at 7:00-ish.
  1. Sunglasses at 7:30 AM.
  2. Starting to enjoy the ride.

Intensive morning shot of D. Might help with the SAD.

Assimilation:

I’m learning how to “swipe” after 20 years of not punching a clock.

Khaki is not my color, but allows me to blend into the masses.

Sometimes a strict dress code can be good.

“30 Seconds & Break.” Translation: (and today’s tip) Keep the chatter to a minimum. This is an interesting concept, but not widely practiced where I come from.

Note to self: need a CPR refresher and instruction on how to use defibrillator.

Bottom line: It’s all good! Have a great week!