Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Senior Fitness

Comfort Zone

QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
“When you’re stuck sitting in a comfort zone, small problems become magnified. Get out of your comfort zone, touch the edge, and you come back with an appreciation for life.” – Barbara Warren, 1943-2008

Barbara Warren was filler in my local newspaper, I found a wire service blurb about this senior athlete tucked away and was so impressed by her story that I wanted more information. She’d led such an inspirational life and I was just starting to meet several seniors who were fascinatingly fit at my part time job at the gym.

There were a few of them, regulars. And for three years I’d see these silver foxes come every day. A few women, mostly men. Don’t be fooled by the gray hair or wrinkles, these people could kick your ass at boot camp or in the pool.

Which brings me to Don. Champion bridge player, lover of ladies and poodles, fisherman and hunter. He was the oldest guy I knew who’d met his wife on the internet. Don was fit and certainly did not look or act his 70 plus years. So, when he started having long drawn out nosebleeds last October he got it checked out before he left for to winter over in Florida. For the last year he’s been getting experimental treatments for a form of leukemia. Last week I saw him at the gym and thought he looked rather gray.  On Monday of this week, Don’s wife emailed me to say that Don had passed away. The subject line said: “please forgive me for this email – it’s so impersonal”.

But I didn’t feel that. The message was brief:

Don passed away this morning in his sleep
there will be a memorial for him at our home this Saturday at noon.

Don’s wife wasn’t on Facebook, but kept everyone in her address book updated on his condition, so I was glad to know what his status was. Although I only knew him for three years, Don was my friend, and felt like a grandfather to me, although it would have been offended his ego to be considered so paternally.

The strength of this small demo I encountered almost tricked me into thinking that you could live forever. I was kind of surprised when he died and had to remind myself that he was almost 80. Time ran out.

Another email followed to invite friends and loved ones over to the house at noon, bring a lawn chair, meats provided by the Bridge Club. I have some great memories to share.

 

He Gives Me Hope

Owen Hilton

Meet Mr. Owen Hilton.

WWII Military Vet.

Purple Heart.

84.

Works out everyday Monday-Friday. He usually starts shooting baskets about 5:30 in the am.

Takes NO medication, except for: A Baby Aspirin Daily.

Nothing else.

Mr. Hilton is the only 84 year old gent that I know that doesn’t’ take a zillion pills.
He’s a fine Physical Specimen and a nice guy too.

What To Do With Dad

vintage postcard

Over the holidays we caught up with friends and acquaintances who are dealing with aging parents. What to do? Some of the stories we’ve heard:

It’s scary riding in the car with them.

They are malnourished because they only eat pie.

The Dad who made a new “friend” who charges him $1500 to replace the battery in the car. This particular gentleman never had a credit card, and suddenly he’s racked up a $10,000 bill, not once but a couple of times with the help of his “friend”. His son is now managing his finances.

In his father’s defense, Dad was a workaholic, working was his hobby and he always had at least two jobs. After a forced retirement, widowed and recently fired from his part-time job for falling asleep on the phone with customers, he’s displaced and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Can’t access his cash without his son’s permission and no wheels.

He’s kind of pissed.

What to do with Dad?

He’s lost his license and continues to drive. Never mind that it’s like Mr. Magoo, driving around oblivious to the pileups in their wake. Can’t see OR turn their head, cuz their neck is locked up.

Recently widowed for the third time, Barbara decided she was going to meet a man. She doesn’t waste time, and traditionally marries within six months of losing her husbands. Sister works it and has been hitting the square dances and makes it clear that she doesn’t want to be alone. One of her sons who lives nearby, noticed hand lettered signs posted along the roadway advertising that his mother was seeking companionship. He ripped them down.

It’s comical and sad, and a real challenge mentally and financially for the Boomers that are still working full-time, raising kids or grandkids and caring for their parents. A good nursing home around here is $5000 a month.

What’s the answer?

UPDATE: Barbara was found in her home earlier this week unconscious and is in ICU. She’s been a bit of a medical mystery as she has no health history, and has not been to the doctor in 47 years……since the birth of her last child. She is in a coma.