Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

tree dedication stone

Momma Tree in NYC

fall tree dedication

Fall is a great time to plant a seed or two, and city dwellers, I’m talking to you….YOU too can dedicate a tree, living plant, garden or sacred space in memory of your loved one.

Special thanks to CK, who has publicly shared her journey of the loss of her sweet momma.

Thanks to the boundless grace of many bloggers, my mother is now commemorated and honored in New York City with her own tree (for those new to my blog, my mother died suddenly 8 weeks ago). But it’s more than a tree. It’s a sanctuary. More than that, the tree has been planted in a park in Spanish Harlem which is in a part of the city that is a “BID” (Business Improvement District). So this beautiful act betters a community…which makes a whole lotta sense since the beauty of this community’s moving act betters me.

And if I feel down you know what I’m gonna do? Damn straight, I’m going to see my momma’s tree!

DIY Memorial Garden

Even if you don’t have a million dollars to re-landscape your outdoor living space, you can still create a memorial garden or outdoor sanctuary in a small space on a shoestring.

Depending on how elaborate you want to get, a bench and a few low maintenance plants will do. Expand on the idea with an arbor, pergola or trellis. Outdoor lighting? You can do it in phases, or as your finances allow. Next season, add a fountain or water feature.
urngarden garden memorials

Feel like you need to get your hands dirty and work the earth? What about this intriguing garden design? It can be done on a small scale and filled with easy care plants.

Want to dedicate a tree or sacred spot in the garden? Customize a garden memorial stone or marker. Personalized stones will take 2-4 weeks to create, but worth the wait and you can use the time to plan your space and buy the plants needed.

urn garden memorial stones

It’s never too late to start creating your healing garden, in fact this is a great time to find outdoor furniture, plants and accessories on clearance.

Today’s tip: Create a sanctuary for yourself.

Back Yard Memorial Gardens

UrnGarden Greeting

Many of our clients are keeping the cremated remains of their loved ones close….in the home or on the property. Today, we’re sharing some examples of loving tributes created by real people. My grandmother, Etta introduced me to the healing and restorative powers of memorial gardens when she lost her husband and son.

At the time, Etta lived in a rural area and had the space to create her memorial garden. She chose a military theme to honor her husband and son’s service in the Navy.

urngarden memorial garden

Not the greatest photo, but you get the idea. Several years later, we packed her up and moved her closer to the family in a condo right in the middle of town. The fountain was sold at an auction, but the remainder of the garden was transplanted to the men’s burial site.

Apartment dwellers and other urbanites may not have the luxury of a small space for planting, but there are other alternatives and we’ll cover those tomorrow. For more information on creating a loving memorial garden or tribute, visit our site urngarden.com

Other examples:

“What I did was set up bird feeders because Eddie so loved his birds. I remember on the morning of his death- it was just daybreak- and as they carried his body to the ambulance, the birds were singing everywhere! Everyone noticed. It seemed the birds sensed something was very different and were saying goodbye (or maybe hello) to him.”

“My husband died very young of a chronic illness. His acceptance of his death was beyond understanding. He asked that his ashes become “part of the good earth”. He died on the vernal equinox. On the summer solstice, our family planted a flowering crab tree, one he always wanted, with his ashes mixed into the roots. Our oldest son graduated from high school one year later, and we took pictures of him in his cap and gown with “Dad”, who was blossoming beautifully. As long as they live, this will always be “Dad’s tree.”

Our tree dedication stones are an excellent way to dedicate your sacred space.

For those without the room or the ability to create an elaborate, in-ground garden, a patio or indoor pot can be planted instead. A simple potted planting can be just as meaningful as more complex garden. Bend a wire coat hanger into the shape of a heart and secure in potting soil. Plant a climbing vine that you can train to grow up the wire. Rosemary symbolizes remembrance, English Ivy friendship are easy plants to train into a topiary form.

Today’s tip for better living: Tell everyone special to you that you love them!