ideas for memorial service

Dust in the Wind: Scattering Ashes Ceremony

September 22, 2009 urngarden.com

The most common method of scattering ashes is known as “casting” , which is basically tossing the ashes into the wind. Let’s talk about the WIND. Consider wind direction and try to cast down to prevent “blow-back”. The dense nature of human ashes combined with a fine powder forms a whitish-gray cloud when it becomes airborne.

Some families want to release the ashes all at once, and others want to spread the ashes as a group, each member taking a turn scattering the remains.

This family opted to split the ashes in individual envelopes, some DIY-ers use paper cups. Your family funeral director can make this process much easier if you need assistance or have questions regarding this process.

Scattering tubes and biodegradable scattering urns are also available.

Funeral for a Friend: Celebration at Sea

August 11, 2009 urngarden.com

coral rose

Recently, I had the good fortune to connect with a local blogger who inspired me with several stories of her life experiences. She graciously allowed me to share a very touching memorial service that she participated in:

My dear friend Leslie was my roommate my freshman year at Drury College and also a sorority sister. She died of cancer in 1997 and Sally and I still are pissed at her because she naturally went out in the most awesome way.

Before she died, she instructed her husband, Bob, to take a group of us to Monterey, CA for a weekend – all expenses paid at a B&B including gourmet meals and on her birthday, we all climbed aboard a boat and had the captain take us beyond the 3-mile mark where we had a memorial service and spread her ashes.

Bob brought her favorite flowers, coral roses, for us to throw on top of the ashes and we were all incredibly weepy until somone started telling “Leslie stories” which had us all in tears of laughter which lasted through her memorial luncheon at the Monterey Aquarium. Leave it to Leslie to set the bar so damned high in life AND in death!

Can You Hear Me Now?

December 20, 2008 urngarden.com

Being buried with a cell phone is the second most requested item to be placed in a loved one’s casket, immediately after a request to be cremated with a pet’s ashes.

“We had a young man die this past summer and they put his cell phone in the casket for the viewing and it rang constantly,” says Frank Perman, of Frank R. Perman Funeral Home, Inc. of Pittsburgh, Pa. “It was turned to silent, but you could see the phone light up so you knew people were calling. And they were leaving messages.

THE NEW TAPS:

“Some people will call the deceased just as they’re lowering the coffin into the ground,” he says. “It’ll be prearranged and you’ll hear a faint ring.

Cell phones are the most popular, but I-Pods and Game Boys are also going to the grave.

Funeral professionals are only too happy to comply these days, as long as people don’t try to cremate gadgets along with anyone’s remains.

“You can’t cremate any kind of electronic device like a cell phone or hearing aid or pacemaker,the battery will explode. If a family wants the cell phone with a person who’s being cremated, I’ll put it in the urn afterwards.”

*according to a survey of 100,000 people last year by the British charity Age Concern (sort of the AARP of England)

No Funeral No Flowers

April 25, 2007 urngarden.com

vintage postcards

Inspiration comes from Texas and New Mexico. First up:

Conroe, TX, wife and daughters who lost hub and daddy. 67, retired educator. Four year battle with cancer, married for over 40 years. Even during his illness, they never discussed THE END. No will. No final arrangements. Until 2007.

No church service, no sad songs. Friends and family gathered on his birthday for a memorial celebration on their property which adjoins a park. Food, friends, pictures and memories.

The girls picked out cobalt blue crystal. The ashes will be divided among the keepsakes, the remainder to be co-mingled with his wife. She has written instructions for her daughters as to where she wants their ashes spread.

Urngarden wants to know: What’s the secret to a long loving marriage?

The key seems to be communication, “fight it out”; but close with “I Love You”.

And then the call from New Mexico:

Cremation has taken place, and there will be no funeral. A memorial gathering and celebration of ****’s life will take place at Reflections, 2400 Washington NE, at 2 p.m. Saturday, April 7, 2007; followed by a reception at the family home. Rather than flowers, her family suggests a donation in **** name to PB & J Family Services, Albuquerque, NM; or a charity of your choice.

He lost his wife on 3/31/07. She was 48. Today’s her birthday.

We thank the families sharing their stories.

Non-profits will benefit from this trend, but the funeral and floral industry are trying to figure out how to deal with these families. Some of the funeral directors compare themselves to wedding planners.

Our thoughts on flowers, bring em on. Everything goes better with flowers.

Except for allergies.