Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

memorial garden

Neighborhood Garden Memorials

When we stroll through the garden, we’ll stop and pay tribute to the makeshift memorials we find. At the elementary school is a marker dedicated to a school employee who died suddenly. A tree has been planted in his memory. Simple.

Sometimes planting a tree in your loved one’s memory can give the family a place to return to honor the loved one. Tree plantings can be marked with a tree dedication stone personalized with artwork and the departed’s name and dates

At the high school nearby there’s this simple roadside memorial.

A more elaborate memorial is tucked in a quiet corner of a nearby bed and breakfast.

Memorial stepping stones, memorial garden plaques, as well as a statuary or garden memorial sculpture are other ideal ways to memorialize your loved one if you are limited in space because these items can represent your loved ones’ personality. Garden stones and garden benches can be used indoors or out, and are all loving touches in your sacred space.

Regardless of the memorial garden that you choose best represents your passed loved one, memorials can be used to heal, restore, and remember the time and life that your loved one spent on Earth.

Today’s tip for better living: Get your hands dirty!

Back Yard Memorial Gardens

UrnGarden Greeting

Many of our clients are keeping the cremated remains of their loved ones close….in the home or on the property. Today, we’re sharing some examples of loving tributes created by real people. My grandmother, Etta introduced me to the healing and restorative powers of memorial gardens when she lost her husband and son.

At the time, Etta lived in a rural area and had the space to create her memorial garden. She chose a military theme to honor her husband and son’s service in the Navy.

urngarden memorial garden

Not the greatest photo, but you get the idea. Several years later, we packed her up and moved her closer to the family in a condo right in the middle of town. The fountain was sold at an auction, but the remainder of the garden was transplanted to the men’s burial site.

Apartment dwellers and other urbanites may not have the luxury of a small space for planting, but there are other alternatives and we’ll cover those tomorrow. For more information on creating a loving memorial garden or tribute, visit our site urngarden.com

Other examples:

“What I did was set up bird feeders because Eddie so loved his birds. I remember on the morning of his death- it was just daybreak- and as they carried his body to the ambulance, the birds were singing everywhere! Everyone noticed. It seemed the birds sensed something was very different and were saying goodbye (or maybe hello) to him.”

“My husband died very young of a chronic illness. His acceptance of his death was beyond understanding. He asked that his ashes become “part of the good earth”. He died on the vernal equinox. On the summer solstice, our family planted a flowering crab tree, one he always wanted, with his ashes mixed into the roots. Our oldest son graduated from high school one year later, and we took pictures of him in his cap and gown with “Dad”, who was blossoming beautifully. As long as they live, this will always be “Dad’s tree.”

Our tree dedication stones are an excellent way to dedicate your sacred space.

For those without the room or the ability to create an elaborate, in-ground garden, a patio or indoor pot can be planted instead. A simple potted planting can be just as meaningful as more complex garden. Bend a wire coat hanger into the shape of a heart and secure in potting soil. Plant a climbing vine that you can train to grow up the wire. Rosemary symbolizes remembrance, English Ivy friendship are easy plants to train into a topiary form.

Today’s tip for better living: Tell everyone special to you that you love them!

Honoring Thomas and Section 60

Our hearts go out to the mother in Southern California who lost her son last month in a motorcycle accident. He died doing what he loved.

Remember Thomas, her only son. Here’s his My Space page courtesy of his mom.

Then we read about Section 60 at Arlington in the Washington Post. Login may be needed.

In Section 60, death remains too fresh to be separated from life.

You see it in the 17 cigars pushed into the grass near one headstone, signs that a combat unit stopped by. Here in Section 60 are the graves of 336 men and women killed in Iraq and Afghanistan — almost one in 10 of the dead. Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom have produced the highest percentage of burials at Arlington National Cemetery from any war. For the duration of this war, there have been few photographs of coffins returning home.

In May 2005, Beth Belle’s son, Nicholas Kirven, was the first to be buried in a brand-new row of graves. Two years later, five rows extend from his headstone.

Section 60 is the one place to get a sense of the immensity of the nation’s loss.

Today’s tip: If you’ve never been to Arlington National Cemetery– GO!

Red Tulips

This is the first year we’ve had tulips and ever the optimist, we didn’t heed the meteorologists warning to cover our plants. Well, we got to enjoy them for a little while…..

Tulips originated in what was once Persia, where they still grow wild. Their name comes from Turkish and Persian words for turban, tulepan and dulband, after the turban-like shape of the flower. Tulips fill the pages of Persian poetry, literature, and folklore. In today’s Iran, this simple flower is pregnant with complex meanings, and a lengthy literary history.

In the Muslim culture, Tulips are symbols of martyrdom. A red tulip is the flower that springs from the earth where innocent blood is shed. The Islamic Republic adopted this symbol early on and is incorporated in the Iranian flag of the Islamic Republic, printed on stamps and posters commemorating the revolution. Tulips are donated to families of martyrs, and, of course, it “springs up” in any cemetery.

Tulips are a beautiful reminder of the bloodshed, but the Iranians also use the powerful symbol of the Fountain of Blood.

At the epicenter of the area designated to the martyrs is famous Fountain of Blood. This multi-layered cement construction oozes a red liquid that falls in thin ripples from each level. The structure is most disturbing when the fountain is turned off: the cement platforms bring to mind the permanently stained floor of a slaughterhouse.

The fountain of blood is a symbol without an agreed-upon referent. It is erected as a tribute to the legacy and legitimacy of martyrdom, but it represents, more readily, the human cost of the legacy of the Islamic Republic. Mourners and visitors stay clear of it for the most part, now that it’s unsightly novelty has worn off.

So while Christians celebrate being washed in the blood of Christ, remember the tulip.

For the Love of Poppies

vintage postcard

Greetings!

Sowed a little seed today and ran a mental checklist of all the frustrations we’ve been feeling this week….realized that almost all the consternation was self created. What to do. Hmmm.

We love poppies, blood red oriental poppies. Ancient Egyptians placed garlands of poppies on mummies and the Greeks crowned their dead with the flower. Legend has it that in Europe, poppies sprang up on battlefields from the blood of slain soldiers. Poppies symbolize consolation, sleep, and rest in the Victorian language of flowers and was commonly used to memorialize the dead.

Speaking of sleeping, dreams were alive with mice last night. Very disturbing slumber. A former co-worker swore she could smell a mouse in the house. That dream was so vivid I could smell it today.

Speaking of smelling rats, this is why Dirtsister keeps it on the down low in the Show Me State. For the record, most of our business is East, West Coast and Canada.

Missouri funeral regulators have agreed to settle antitrust charges by the Federal Trade Commission and stop impeding the sale of caskets and other funeral merchandise by non-licensed funeral directors, the Kansas City Star reports. A 1965 state law has long allowed such sales but in 2005 the Missouri State Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors cracked down on a rural Missouri casket seller who, the board alleged, was providing licensed funeral services in violation of board regulations that clearly barred the sale or rental of “funeral merchandise. The state board sued Larry Gegner of Buffalo, Mo., but last year agreed to a consent order in Dallas County Circuit Court that clarified his legal right to sell caskets and dispense free advice to the public on how to cut funeral and burial costs. The national Funeral Consumers Alliance and the Virginia based-Institute for Justice that represented Gegner later persuaded the board to amend its regulations. The FTC announced the agreement today. Under the settlement, the board will not adopt such anticompetitive regulations in the future, the FTC said. The agreement with the FTC was a product of extensive discussion and clearly provides that the board has not been found in violation of any state or federal law, said board chairman Kenneth McGhee in a prepared statement. Our goal is to ensure Missourians make informed decisions when organizing final arrangements for their loved ones. The state’s six-member regulatory board includes five funeral directors.

At issue in this case was whether Larry Gegner a consumer advocate from Buffalo, Mo., who has spent the better part of his life selling caskets and teaching consumers about the often-inflated costs associated with burials could share his knowledge.

Larry’s argument was straightforward: people should have the right to teach and learn about something so important as how to bury a family member without getting ripped off by the funeral cartel.

Today’s tat memorial: anubis tattoo

Today’s tip for better living: Arm yourself… with information.