Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Memorial Service Ideas

Like the Son He Never Had

Florida passed a piece of legislation that allows humans to be buried with their pets. Previously, funeral homes were prohibited from handling animal remains and ashes of humans and animals could not be co-mingled.

At the Best Friends Animal Hospital at Gateway, office manager, Rainy Hoy, said about half of their clients take home their pet’s ashes. “They just want to keep them. They’re like family to them,” Hoy said.

Fort Myers resident Joe Castrogiovanni wouldn’t consider euthanizing his 2-year-old dog Barkley to put him in the casket, but he would consider saving Barkley’s ashes.

“It may be a little weird, but he’s like the son I never had,” Castrogiovanni said.

Jay O’Shaughnessy, funeral director for Anderson Funeral Home of Fort Myers with more than 30 years’ experience, said he has received requests from clients wanting their loved ones to be buried with remains of their pet.

“It’s not a real new deal. We’ve done stranger things than that,” he said. “It’s always the family’s idea.” Complete article here.

He’s right, it’s not unusual. Urngarden has received several requests for urns large enough to contain the pet owner and the ashes of their cats or dogs. Or couples that have left instructions for their children to bury their ashes in the back yard with the family pets.

We had a dog, dear Bonnie, that I always thought I’d have taxidermied so we could enjoy her to the end. She died on a camping trip and had to be buried on the spot. Looking back, I’m glad we didn’t have the opportunity to get her stuffed!

Now, my two precious pups I’ll probably sprinkle somewhere, or maybe I’ll save their ashes to be packed into a mortar shell with me!

To View or Not To View

Never have been a fan of embalming, but then I realized I’d never seen embalming done well. Recently, a friend of the family passed after a long illness. At 93, in ill health, she was ready to go, she was worn out.

Before she passed, this once active lady nested on the couch, slept in her clothes and occasionally risked getting up to go the bathroom. You know the story; fell, broke her hip never to recover.

She’d tell you that she was ready to go and didn’t understand what was taking so long. She meant it.

Fast forward to the visitation. At the viewing, my grandmother Etta insisted that I go look at the deceased. “Doesn’t she look like she could sit up and start talking?” Etta Mae asked. I stepped back; I was amazed by the good work done by Gorman Sharpf funeral home. I’d never witnessed someone who looked better in death than in the last few years of life.

The next day at the burial, I stopped the funeral director, Bruce Howell and praised the firm’s work. Mr. Howell sited his nephew and said that sometimes with older ladies that have been ill, the results of embalming and cosmetics are good.

My grandfather, was the worst embalming case I have ever seen. Granted, he’d been gravely ill before he died, however, he would have wanted a viewing and a picture, and I believe my mother obliged him.

The only time I can recall actually needing a viewing to confirm that the deceased was actually gone was in the case of a friend’s suicide.

The act was so shocking and unbelievable at the time. The casket was closed and I remember thinking that my friend couldn’t possibly be in there. What are we doing here?

Enter Vernie Fountain. Master of reconstruction. He believes the open casket viewing is a critical component in the grieving process. Mr. Fountain is the one to call when damage is so severe that most funeral directors won’t even attempt a viewing. Students from all over the world come to Springfield, MO to attend his academy and learn his techniques.

An Iowa family recently used Mr. Fountain’s services when their 22 year old son committed suicide by placing a high velocity rifle in his mouth and pulling the trigger. No note. The family needed to say goodbye and try to get through this terrible tragedy.

Fountain came through and gave the family some closure. The family and community needed to see the young man one last time .

Cast Away

As cremation has overtaken burial in California — about 52 percent of the dead are cremated, according to the National Funeral Directors Association — scatterings of remains have become a daily occurrence. Without anybody really noticing, San Francisco Bay has become an enormous burial ground.

Scatterings are done from boats, cliffs and the Golden Gate Bridge. Cemetery owner Buck Kamphausen said it is not unusual to see remains scattered off the back of ferries. He has found urns bobbing in the water. “We’ve done it at night, in the fog, in the rain. You have to say that if there is something spiritual about it, this is one of the most beautiful places in the world to have it done.”

Cremation does not appeal to everybody.

Mark Matthews, vice president of the Association of California Cremationists, said that for a variety of cultural reasons, Latinos and African Americans are less likely to cremate than other Californians. And he said higher-income people are more likely to cremate than people with less money. Several religions, including Judaism and Mormonism, frown on cremation. Islam forbids it.

“There are a lot of people that have died and are in the Bay,” said Curtis Brown, captain and operator of the Orca III, “Over the recent years, I’m sure there have been more people scattered in the water than buried in the Bay Area. I go out near the ocean, so ultimately the ashes can be scattered on the tides throughout the world. It’s kind of a liberating, freeing thing.”

Ashes dispersed off the Orca III in San Fransisco Bay, Angel Island in the background.

Today’s tip for better living: Perfect your swimming stroke.

You CAN Take It With You

Today we bring you a list of items that families have placed in the casket of their loved ones compiled by an Ohio funeral director :

  • fishing rods
  • bow and arrow
  • golf clubs
  • golf balls
  • basketballs
  • autographed baseballs
  • baseball gloves
  • baseball, football and basketball uniforms
  • unloaded handguns, rifles and shotguns
  • decks of cards
  • bingo cards
  • lucky pennies
  • room keys from Las Vegas
  • cigarettes
  • marijuana joints
  • pet rocks
  • favorite books
  • a tape recorder
  • a glass eye
  • sexual devices
  • jewelry
  • fruit
  • nuts
  • photographs
  • leaf collections
  • coin collections
  • Penthouse, Playboy and raunchier varieties of magazines
  • Cremated remains of cats and dogs
  • Panties
  • Money

Honor for Bravery, Lone Eagle’s Journey

American Indians have the highest per-capita participation in the armed services of any ethnic group. Cpt. Brett Lundstrom was killed in Fallujah on January 7, 2006 and was buried in

The body of Marine Cpl. Brett Lundstrom, lies in state in a flag-draped casket inside a 30-foot tepee set up in the gymnasium of Little Wound High School on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. U.S. Marines took shifts standing guard at the entrance. Lakota tradition is for the body to lay overnight to communicate with relatives who have passed before, and will guide him to the spirit world.

Staff of honor: Louis Kills Straight holds a staff adorned with buffalo hair and eagle feathers, along with photos of tribal members who are serving in Iraq.
“He earns the American flag from his government,” says Vietnam veteran John Around Him. “He earns the eagle feather from his people.”

A complete pictorial tribute of Cpl. Lundstrom’s moving memorial service located here. Very touching.