Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

ash scattering ceremony

Scattering Ashes

scattering ashes ceramony boat waterNot everyone wishes to be buried in a casket or cremated and their ashes held in an urn after they die. Some prefer to have their cremains scattered in a place that is both meaningful and memorable. And why shouldn’t they? Scattering one’s ashes is becoming more common because people are realizing there are more options available when it comes to making final arrangements.

When a person is cremated, his or her ashes are typically placed in an urn and buried like a casket or put on display in a loved one’s home or garden. Likewise, a portion of the ashes can be put in a piece of cremation jewelry or used in artwork or memorial tattoo. The remainder of the ashes, many times, are scattered.

The location selected to scatter one’s ashes depends on they desired ceremony. There are special scattering urns designed for this. They easily open on one end and allow you to carefully sprinkle the ashes without spilling them or having to touch them. These urns also allow to disperse only the amount of cremains you wish.

You can scatter ashes anywhere allowed by state and local laws, as they vary from region to region on both land and water. They can be strewn over a favorite sports park, golf course or hiking trail, as well as in a garden or where a memorial tree can be planted. You can also scatter ashes in the ocean or in a small lake. Regarding sea burials, federal law requires that you go three miles from shore to release the ashes to avoid the urn washing up on the beach. In many coastal areas, you can charter a boat that specializes in this type of service and there are cremation urns that are biodegradable and designed for use in the water that are ideal for this type of memorial celebration.

Remembering, deciding to scatter a loved one’s ashes is a very personal choice and should be the wish of the person who has died. If this ceremony wasn’t planned before the person died, make sure everyone involved is in agreement with this decision.

Urn for Ashes

Scattering Mom’s Ashes At the Lake. Arizona or Alaska?

vintage mother postcard

We’re of the age now, where we are dealing with aging parents and health issues.  Jerry just returned from Arizona after dealing with the death of his mother. He lives in Missouri, his sister lives in Alaska. He arranged a direct cremation and shipment of her ashes to Missouri. He and his sister will convene at Christmas and scatter her ashes, per mother’s request.

Jerry: I’ll come to Alaska at Christmas and we’ll scatter mom’s ashes at the lake. She told me that’s what she wanted.
Sis: Jerry! Mom hated Alaska, when did she tell you that?
Jerry: Probably 15 years ago.
Sis: Well, when she was here in July, she told me that she hated this place, and if she died to spread her ashes in Arizona.

Jerry’s mom had been ill and agreed to relocate to her daughter’s recently renovated home to let her care for her. That lasted about 3 weeks and after some pretty harsh words, his mother booked a flight back to AZ.

Growing up, Jerry and his sister lived all over the country with their mom. Home was a different place for each of them. Mother had liquidated her estate before leaving for Alaska, Jerry came home with her purse and a lock of hair.  Both kids are struggling with the way it all ended up and have decided to meet in Arizona later this year for a private memorial ash scattering on the water.

After Jerry returned to work he was in a marketing meeting and his co-workers expressed their condolences. The conversation turned to cremation versus burial. Everyone in the room agreed that they preferred cremation. This is in the bible belt, a traditional burial state.

This experience also spurred a first time conversation that Jerry had with his father about end of life.  Jerry’s dad chose Las Vegas as his final resting place, preferably in the Belagio fountain.

A Saginaw, MI newspaper recently took a poll to ask what readers if they preferred cremation over burial and overwhelmingly the response was a simple cremation.  The Wall Street Journal reported on a woman who scattered her husband’s ashes in over 12 locations. Whatever the decision is, have the conversation.

biodegradable urn

Man’s Ashes to Be Spread in Fireworks Celebration

vintage 4th of July postcard

BUNNELL, Fla. — The family of a Florida man has chosen a unique way to spread his ashes: Sending them off in fireworks during a lakeside Fourth of July celebration.

Tom Moore died unexpectedly in May, and his remains were cremated.

The central Florida man always enjoyed watching fireworks on the Fourth of July, and so his family approached a fireworks company about spreading his ashes during the celebration.

Santore & Sons agreed to accommodate the family’s request, and began packing Moore’s ashes into shells on Tuesday.

A pyrotechnic tribute to Moore will be held on Sunday.

Comments on this article are a mixed bag, and while this ash scattering ceremony isn’t for every family, it’s definitely a personalized memorial service.