Pets

Pet Cremation Jewelry: Beauty from the Ashes

November 21, 2018 Kim Stacey

“Best friend” is a description often applied to our animal companions. In truth, our pets are far more than that; during their relatively short lifetimes they provide us with unconditional love in ways no human being could. It’s no surprise then we grieve so deeply after their passing. Here at Urn Garden we’ve learned pet cremation jewelry can bring comfort during this transformative and difficult time.
“Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” ~ George Elliot

Pet Loss Grief

Part of grieving involves forging a new relationship with the deceased; I see it as a kind of dance between “letting go” and “hanging on.” We want to remain close to our pets, to keep their memory alive; but we also need – to some extent – to let go of our emotional dependence on the deceased pet.

Notice I didn’t say “attachment” to the pet; you’ll remain attached to the memory of them. But the gentle process of “letting go” of will give you the ‘room’ to bring another pet into your life in the future. The same is true when grieving the death of anyone in your life; it will again feel–if not like a dance – like you’re being pulled in two. For some helpful tips on dealing with pet loss grief, check out “Easing a Broken Heart.”

How Pet Cremation Jewelry Can Help

“A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself.”

It’s simple, really; cremation jewelry is a way to keep your loved one – pet or otherwise – close. It’s comforting; when your heart is aching, you can reach up and hold the small vial for ashes tightly in your hand. You could use it as a tangible connection between you and your pet during your regular periods of active grieving (the first “R” in the “3 R’s and an M” recommendation made in last week’s post.

Urn Garden’s Collection of Pet Cremation Jewelry

Many of us at Urn Garden are seasoned pet parents; we’ve loved and lost dozens of fine animal companions. Our experience with pet loss, combined with our professional expertise, has led us to gather a variety of cremation jewelry for pet’s ashes.

Helpful tip: if you need to learn more about cremation jewelry in general? I suggest two Urn Garden Learning Center articles, “Cremation Jewelry: What You Need to Know” and Why Do People Buy Cremation Jewelry?

It’s been said that a pet “leaves paw prints on your heart.” I couldn’t agree more; and a piece of pet cremation jewelry is a beautiful signifier of that gentle truth.

Grieving a Lost Pet: 5 Tips to Coping with the Death of a Pet

November 15, 2018 Kim Stacey

I’ve got to say; writing last week’s post, “Courage’s Story” A Pet Quality-of-Life Lesson,” opened the door to a flood of emotions, likely spill over into this follow-up post about pet loss. Honestly, many pet owners tell me the death of their pet, regardless of whether it was unexpected or not, was far more traumatic than the death of an aging relative. Grieving the loss of a pet can be an intense experience – especially when (as in Courage’s case) – the pet’s illness is prolonged and difficult.

A Story About Pet Loss Grief

I can’t remember what day of the week it was – or even the date –when I picked up the phone and tearfully spoke to the receptionist at our vet’s office. More than anything, I needed him to come to the house to euthanize Courage as soon as he was able. Our mutual suffering was becoming too much for us to handle; we were up at all hours of the night in his restlessness.

No doubt she could tell how much my heart ached. I was both emotionally and physically exhausted with his round-the-clock care. Add to that my ex-husband’s illness, and I was beside myself with sorrow and fear. Sadly, my vet was out-of-town, but she told me she could recommend another.

Naturally, the tears started all over again when his receptionist answered. Somehow, she managed to calm me down and, in short order, an appointment arranged for 5:00 p.m. that evening.

I had two hours with Courage before the vet was due, and I think I held Courage and cried the whole time. No, that’s not right; I had a fight with my youngest son (then about 25) because he couldn’t bear to stay during the procedure. We yelled at one another over Courage’s head; I still regret creating such an environment for him. Not only that, I repeatedly called Matt, my ex, but his line was busy. (What that meant – at this time in his cancer treatment, he had fallen asleep after a call, without turning off the phone. I was so angry with him, as he had promised to come over to support me. As we all have learned at one time or another, things have a way of working out for the best. After all, It was just me and Courage, and I am so fortunate to have had that precious opportunity.

Brave Tales of real dogs book

Just a Bit More…

My son came home as soon as the vet was gone, and together we took Courage over to his dad’s house for burial (near Gus, the dog whose death started all this). It was a bittersweet time: we woke Matt, who brought out bright outdoor lights, and he and I sat together and watched as Nathan dug his dog’s grave. We were home by about 8:30, and I went straight to bed, where I cried myself to sleep. It had all been ‘too much’ for me – and the days following his death weren’t much easier. Pet loss grief, which had accompanied me for months in the guise of anticipatory grief – a complex of emotions I had come to know since Thanksgiving Day, 2012, when Matt was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. Read about it in “Anticipatory Grief: One Woman’s Story.”

The Aftermath

Now that Courage was gone, it was time to grieve his death. Most people understand just how devastating a pet’s passing can be – but there are some who simply don’t know why you’re so upset.

That means, it can be a challenge to mourn openly about the death of a pet. For that reason alone, cultivating good self-care practices while in the throes of pet loss grief is essential.

Tips to Help Deal with the Loss of a Pet

Here are 4 tips to help you survive the pet loss grief journey; I like to call them the “Four Rs and an M:”

1. Reserve time each day to actively grieve, thereby releasing your emotions

2. Reflect often upon the life shared between yourself and your beloved pet. Write about it, or use a digital recorder. Think of it as a cleansing of heart and mind.

3. Resolve to take care of your basic needs: get enough sleep and be sure to eat (even if you’re not hungry – grieving is hard work).

4. Remain attentive to the needs of your other pets, adhering to their usual routine as much as possible. They too are feeling the loss you know; so allow time for you all to comfort one another.

5. Memorialize your pet. In other words, dedicate time to come together with family and friends to celebrate the personality and life of your pet and honor the spirit.

Letting Go of Pet “Ownership:” The Cumulative Effects of Pet Loss

Courage wasn’t the only dog I came to love; there were at least 7 others who joined me in life’s trials and tribulations. But it was Courage who’s death (and the subsequent grief) affected me so deeply; enough to force me to vow I’d never have another pet, as long as I lived.

I’ve held to that promise; but it doesn’t mean there aren’t animals in my life. I have the joy of loving and sometimes caring for a neighbor’s pets, Duchess the Dog and Sunny the cat. And yes, I love them; I guess my heart didn’t close all the way that day.

Looking for additional help in dealing with the death of a pet? Stop by Urn Garden’s Learning Center, where there are many articles of interest, including “Coping with the Loss of a Pet,” and the thought-provoking “What I Learned from My Dogs.”

Courage’s Story: A Pet Quality-of-Life Lesson

November 9, 2018 Kim Stacey

Meet Courage. He came into our lives when he was 8-weeks old in December, 1999. Fifteen years later, I held him in my arms while lying on the living room floor, as he was euthanized.
My heart still breaks when I think of that afternoon; and I’m proud of the care I gave him in his final moments.

But, to be completely honest; I’m not entirely sure–for very selfish reasons – I didn’t wait too long to let him go. You see, at the time, my ex-husband was dying of colon cancer –had been in intensive treatment for months– and I don’t think I was in my ‘right mind.’ The truth of it: I needed Courage with me for support. You know the kind I’m talking about: that selfless, unconditional love we receive from our pets. (You can read more about that difficult time in Anticipatory Grief: One Woman’s Story.)

Courage’s Backstory

I realized some years ago that Courage joined the family for all the wrong reasons. Our dog Gus had died some weeks earlier and my sons and I (even their dad, Matt, I think) were broken hearted. It was Matt’s idea to get another dog and just a few weeks after Gus’s death, we welcomed this lively puppy into the house. Experts will tell you it’s a bad idea. You need time to grieve and recover your equilibrium after a pet dies.

So, here he came, and brightened up our lives, while at the same time, complicating it. We loved him and he loved us. Life was good.

Long story short: Courage came with me and the boys (along with three cats) when I left Matt in late April, 2003. I’m pretty sure that was as difficult of a time for him as it was for the rest of us, but his presence gave us what we needed. Courage stayed by our side, as I said, for 14 years before his diagnosis of congestive heart failure brought us to a new stage in our lives.

It took about a year for the end to arrive. During that time, we gave him 5 pills every day (‘forced down’ with applesauce) and did everything we could to postpone his death. I’m sure it’s also true for many other ‘pet parents, which is why I’m writing this post. Our hearts rule our heads, but I’m here to say there’s a tool you can use to help your head regain control of your actions: it’s the pet quality of life scale. Unfortunately, I didn’t know about it when Courage was ill – another regret to add to my collection.

What is ‘Quality-of-Life’?

We seem to use the phrase frequently and most of us have an intuitive sense of its meaning. After all, each of us has been sick with one virus or another, and has experienced the decline in life’s quality (hopefully short-lived) firsthand.

There are many accepted definitions of the phrase, but this one – an amalgam of some I’ve read – captures critical elements in assessing someone’s quality of life –including that of our beloved pets.
“Quality-of-life” is a measure of both the degree of satisfaction, and physical energy that powers us to successfully copy with the full range of challenges encountered every day.”

Had my thinking been clearer, that definition would have helped me to recognize Courage’s decline – but it’s not quantifiable. Fortunately, you can find resources online to help you measure your pet’s quality of life.

Resources Worthy of Your Attention

Lenette and I spoke back in September about what topics we’d like to write about, and she suggested this topic – because of her firsthand experience using a pet quality of life scale when making the tough decision to euthanize the family’s aging dog. As I said earlier, I’d not heard of one; so I was eager to explore the topic.

Sadly, she wasn’t able to find the exact diagnostic tool she used. “It was fantastic,” she had commented; but it was nowhere to be found. (She and I are committed to reconstructing it, so as to make it available to our readers. So stay tuned!)

Here’s What I Found

Research led me to the Quality of Life Scale from The Veterinary Practice News, and Ohio State University’s “How Do I Know When It’s Time? Assessing Quality of Life for Your Companion Animal and Making End-of-Life Decisions” The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement’s Quality of Life Checklist is also worth a long look.

Closing Thoughts

Without doubt, when you bring home that puppy or kitten you already know – somewhere deep inside –the day will come when your heart will break as you are forced to say ‘good-bye’ to this animal companion, just as you did all the others. When that time comes, a pet quality of life checklist or scale can be a big help in knowing the answer to the question of “when is the right time?” for you to let go.

Next time around we’ll be looking something I’ve experienced all too often: pet loss grief. It’s a topic near and dear to my heart; I hope you’ll join me.

6 of the Best Pet Halloween Costumes on Instagram

October 30, 2018 Kim Stacey

Halloween isn’t a really big ‘thing’ for me; but I’ve got friends who delight in the holiday. Decorating their homes, carving pumpkins and, for some, dressing up their pets in fun costumes. Just for fun, I thought I’d share six of my favorite pet Halloween costume photos from Instagram.

Fair warning: I’m not an avid Instagram user. Yes, I have an account, but that doesn’t mean I log-in with any regularity. But today’s topic, I thought, made Instagram a natural choice. Logging-in, I entered “pet Halloween costumes” and was treated to the collection of 451 images featuring the #pethalloweencostumes hashtag.

Dogs in Halloween Costumes
Dogs, it appears are very willing to participate. When reviewing the pictures of dogs in Halloween costumes, I was reminded of Sam Butler’s remark, “The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.” There are lots of canines willing to step up to the occasion. Consider these:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bot_Pgtn-g3/

I really like the ingenuity of this pet Halloween costume, although I bet the dog wasn’t too pleased having to wear the cone:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BowoRRWHubI/

One more, admittedly adorable dog in a Halloween costume – it shows just how willing dogs are to participate in our lives – even if they look foolish (albeit charming):

https://www.instagram.com/p/uY7yivoE7Z/

Cats in Halloween Costumes

Dogs may have a foolish streak, but the same isn’t true for cats; It seems it’s not in their personality to play the fool – for anyone. What did Ernest Hemingway write? “No animal has more liberty than the cat…the cat is the best anarchist.” That surely describes any feline I’ve ever lucky enough to have as a companion!

Here’s a rather unhappy cat, dressed in a lion costume just like the dog shown earlier:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo1MEDtFc0S/

Annoyed, if not downright angry, cats in Halloween costumes abound on Instagram. Sometimes they just look sad, take this feline:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BapBWFjBDz6/

I can’t resist adding this disgruntled feline to the gallery. Wow! If looks could kill!

https://www.instagram.com/p/ROQtDhsC0l/

Why Do We Dress Our Pets for Halloween?

The bottom line, I think, is this: we dearly love our pets. And I think we want to give them a full, rich, fun life as our companions. Americans love them so much; last year we spent more money on them than ever before: $69.51 billion (source). And, according to the Christian Science Monitor, at least $350 million of that will be spent on pet Halloween costumes! Pet Halloween costumes may be an expression of this deep love; but it also appears to be a whole lot of fun!
Quotations Source: “21 Quotes That Will Make You Want To Hug Your Pet”.

Beauty from the Ashes: Egyptian Cat Urns

October 23, 2018 Kim Stacey

egyptian cat urns for pets

I promised, in the closing paragraph of a previous post, “Beauty from the Ashes: Outdoor Pet Urns,” to take a closer look at the Egyptian goddess Bastet; the inspiration for our collection of Egyptian cat cremation urns. But first, I’d like to digress for a minute, to share my story – maybe it’s similar to your own.

My Love Affair with Ancient Egypt Began Early

I’ll let you in on a little secret – when I was about 7 I decided I was going to be an archaeologist. Once I became mesmerized by Howard Carter’s 1933 discovery of King Tutankhamun’s tomb, I changed my plans: I was going to become an Egyptologist. And, I decided later, I was going to be the one to uncover Queen Cleopatra’s tomb. I didn’t pursue that vision of adulthood, but still kept my eyes open for news about Cleopatra’s tomb – which, it appears, has been found. Egyptologist Kathleen Martinez claims she’s discovered the lost tomb of the Queen and her lover, Marc Anthony. Read the PBS article “Cleopatra’s Lost Tomb: Q & A with Kathleen Martinez” for all the exciting details.

Now, Meet the Goddess

Bastet, or Bast, means (according to Geraldine Pinch, author of Egyptian Mythology, “She of the Ointment Jar,” Bastet was a protector “of the home, domesticity, women’s secrets, cats, fertility, and childbirth. She protected the home from evil spirits and disease, especially diseases associated with women and children. As with many Egyptian deities, she also played a role in the afterlife as a guide and helper to the dead although this was not one of her primary duties (source).
From that description alone, it’s easy to see why this goddess is perfectly-suited as inspiration for this first Egyptian cat urn for ashes.

Because of its classic canopic jar shape, and its colorful, traditional styling, the Ancient Egyptian Bastet Pet Urn one of our most popular pet urns. It measures approximately 10” high and 5” wide, and can hold the ashes of a 60-pound pet.
Here are some comments from buyers of this pet urn. Emily Meeker wrote, “I recently purchased and received this beautiful urn. I’ve never had to make after-life arrangements and finding a new vessel for my beloved Comet that fit us both so well, (he is depicted as Bast on my back in a tattoo, done years prior to his health failing and death) made the process less painful. Thank you so much.”

Jackie Eastwood shared, “I LOVE this urn! It’s beautiful and well made! I also purchased the Egyptian cat urn, which I also LOVE! And they came so quickly. They came in four days and that included the weekend. Thank you!”

I’m in agreement with both Emily and Jackie; this is a very beautiful urn. But others have been more enamored with the unusual ‘box’ styling of our Bastet Egyptian Cat Box for Ashes.

Perhaps it’s because it’s possible to personalize the urn with up to two lines of engraving (with a maximum of 33 characters for each line). Also, the fact that its size makes it suitable for the ashes of either a pet or a human being may have something to do with its popularity.

Another very popular urn in our collection is the Egyptian Pyramid Small Pet Urn.

pyramid pet urn

It’s diminutive; just 8″ high x 8″ wide x 8″ deep. You might be interested to know the number 8, is important in the ancient Egyptian mythology of the Ogdoad representing the eight primordial deities responsible for the creation of the worlds (source). Tina Vigilante spoke for many of our customers when she wrote, “I cannot tell you how pleased I am with this Egyptian urn! It is utterly gorgeous! A magnificent final resting place for my beloved kitty! Came wrapped very well too! Thank you soooooooo much! I am recommending you to all my friends and family members!”

The last Egyptian cat urn for ashes in today’s gallery is the Elegant Black Cat Cremation Urn.

black cat urn for pets

Hand-engraved; the urn is 5.5” high and 3.75” wide; made of solid brass with a shiny black enamel overlay. Despite its apparent small size, it will hold the ashes of a cat weighing up to 25 pounds. Like the Bastet Egyptian Cat Box for Ashes. This pet urn can be personalized with one line of engraving on the back side. In April of 2017, Becky Henshaw shared her delight with this urn: “Thank you so much for this wonderful urn! It was just I wanted for my little fur baby. It’s well-made and elegant.”

Capturing the Excitement of Discovery and the Mystery of Ancient Egypt

If you’re anything like me, you’ll love these words, from Howard Carter’s The Tomb of Tutankhamen, largely because they capture the awe he felt that day back in November of 1922:“…as my eyes grew accustomed to the light, details of the room within emerged slowly from the mist, strange animals, statues, and gold – everywhere the glint of gold. For the moment – an eternity it must have seemed to the others standing by – I was struck dumb with amazement, and when Lord Carnarvon, unable to stand the suspense any longer, inquired anxiously, ‘Can you see anything?’ it was all I could do to get out the words, ‘Yes, wonderful things.”

It’s been almost 100 years since Carter’s discovery; yet that sense of astonishment is, at least for me, still very real. Perhaps the same is true for you.