Death Care. That's how the funeral trade describes the funeral service profession. What does it mean to you? It's a complex emotional experience.

For each individual it's a personal choice with so many decisions to be made. If you are involved in the liquidating of an estate, it’s a full-time job for a while.

Start at the beginning. Yes, you are affected, but really it's about honoring the wishes of the deceased. Consider personality, hobbies, favorite colors, music as a starting point for picking out an urn or casket, planning the service, songs, etc. 

Do you plan a burial or cremation?

If you are considering cremation consider the following:

Sometimes family members are uncomfortable with the decision to cremate. If the departed has specified cremation, families can still arrange a viewing with a visitation, funeral memorial service or celebration. Call it what you want, do it wherever you want. See our information on memorial ideas.

Some families are turning back the clock and whenever possible opting to keep the loved one home for a short time to say goodbye. Opening the home and letting friends and family say their final goodbyes. It's a natural loving choice and can be arranged with your local death care provider.

After the goodbyes are said, we need to think about final disposition. If you do not make an urn selection at the funeral home, the ashes will be returned bagged within a plastic or cardboard container. You will need an urn with a 200 cubic inch capacity for an average size adult.

Where will you place the urn?

If you still are not sure yet if the urn will be buried, or the ashes will be sprinkled or spread at this point; or maybe the location requires travel at a later date, many families choose to keep the ashes in the home until a final decision is made. Sometimes, a married couple may request combining the ashes and a double capacity urn or companion urn can be used. Again, the final resting place may determine your choice on the style of urn you need.

Will the ashes be divided among family members?

For small portions, 6" urns that have a 60-80 cubic inch capacity are available, as well as keepsake urns and discreet memorial urn jewelry options are designed to hold a small amount of ashes, lock of hair or sacred burial ground are available.

Planning an Urn Burial?

Some cemeteries may require a burial vault for the urn. Check with the cemetery you plan to bury in to find out, they are all different.  Maybe consider a tree dedication memorial to honor your loved one. 

Cemetery niche or columbarium?

Did your loved one attend a church that niche or columbarium for members? Veterans are entitled to free graves and markers. Check our handy guide for families of veterans or consult with the VA to see what benefits are available.

Ask your funeral service provider for assistance in locating a cemetery that offers an urn niche.

You'll need the exact interior measurements of the niche when selecting an urn.

Spreading or Scattering Ashes. Earth, Air, Water?

Biodegradable urn styles are available for earth conscious dispersal over land or water. Some styles are slightly over-sized for placement of notes, mementoes, etc.

The point is, families have a lot of freedom and creative ways to memorialize our loved ones. Meditate on the spirit and personality of the deceased, and incorporate these personality traits into your own personalized service.