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You are here: Home / memorial garden / The Language of Funeral Flowers

The Language of Funeral Flowers

June 27, 2018 Kim Stacey

white bleeding heart

Today I’d like to talk about what’s been called “the language of flowers”. Certainly, we all know flowers don’t actually speak; nonetheless, we’ve found a way to embody each type of flower with meaning and significance. These socially-ascribed meanings are useful to us; not only when planning a funeral or a wedding, but also when choosing a cremation urn. An urn with flowers – carefully chosen blossoms representing a quality of the deceased individual or the relationship you shared – can do much to help in restoring one’s life to equilibrium after the death of a loved one.

You can spend hours searching the Internet for resources on the various meanings given to flowers. I noted two of them in “DIY Memorials: More on Planning a Memorial Garden”; the Flower Expert’s webpage, “Flower Meanings” – or Good Housekeeping’s “41 Beautiful Flowers with Surprising Meanings”. But, of course there are others, like the free downloadable PDF guide to the meaning of flowers published online by the Smithsonian Gardens.

The website, The Language of Flowers, is rich with often entertaining entries, like this for the Tuberose: “Dangerous pleasures” and “Voluptuousness.” (Makes me think of Mae West!)

There are also popular books on the subject, including A Victorian Flower Dictionary, which is intended to be a companion guide to the bestseller The Language of Flowers: a Novel, by Vanessa Dffenbaugh.

Also, the reference guide Folklore and Symbolism of Flowers, Plants and Trees (Dover Pictorial Archive) by Ernest Lehner, is very useful, as is The Secret Language of Flowers by Samantha Gray.
If you don’t have time to go through all that material, below you’ll find a chart of commonly-held beliefs about the meaning of some well loved flowers:

Flower Name Meaning
Amaryllis Pride
Anemone Forsaken
Aster Love, daintiness
Bachelor’s button Single, blessedness
Basil Good wishes
Begonia Beware
Carnation, white Innocence, good luck
Carnation, pink I’ll never forget you
Chrysanthemum Cheerfulness
Daisy Innocence, hope
Fern Sincerity, humility, bonds of love
Forget-me-not True love memories
Gardenia    Secret love Secret love
Geranium True friendship
Gladiolus   Remembrance Remembrance
Hydrangea Gratitude for being understood
Magnolia Love of nature
Poppy, red Consolation
Rose, dark crimson Mourning
Rose, pink Happiness
Rose, white Purity, heavenly
Rose, yellow Jealousy
Violet Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness
Zina Thoughts of absent friends

Closing with Some Seasonal Musings

As I watch my garden truly take root and come to a colorful, aromatic life, I feel very deeply this is a magical time of year. And while it’s nearing the end of June, where I live we’ve had a long spring–a charming season, as Rainer Maria Rilke captured in just two sentences:

“Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.”
This past week, however, summer arrived with cool, foggy mornings and hot afternoons with temperatures in the low 100s.

“Then followed that beautiful season… Summer…. Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.”

It seems Longfellow shared my sense of magic in the garden–perhaps, as he says, it lies in the sunlight which nourishes all who stand among the blooming flowers. (Quotes Source: AZ Quotes)

One Last Thing: a Side Note

Because of a lengthy connection with members of the death care profession, I’ve spent years writing about the healing value of flowers – most notably during times of bereavement. Read “Flowers for Funerals – They are Important” or “The Value and Benefit of Funeral Flowers” for more on that subject.

Filed Under: memorial garden, Memorial Service Ideas Tagged With: language of flowers, meaning of flowers

About Kim Stacey

Kim Stacey is an anthropologist, licensed funeral director and certified grief counselor. She has spent the past 15 years as “The Funeral Copywriter”, creating content for funeral professionals and the public they serve. She can be reached for comment or questions at thefuneralcopywriter[at]gmail.com.

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