My grandfather lived in the country and would rescue turtles on the road, number their shells with nail polish and turn them loose on his farm. I use to see this guy on my walks who also ran a turtle rescue in the neighborhood.

Last summer we had a client who ordered a bronze cremation urn for her husband who died while on vacation in Idaho. Her grown children picked the turtle urn because they felt the qualities of patience, perseverance and strength that were representative of their father were symbolized by this ancient creature.

Some Eastern cultures believe that the turtle unites heaven and earth with the top of the turtle shell as heaven and the square on the bottom the earth while Native American lore uses the turtle as a symbol of land and water.

For families that want a small keepsake as a reminder of their loved one and are drawn to the symbolism of the turtle there is also an urn pendant that can be worn on a chain or as a charm on a bracelet.

This pendant will only hold a tiny bit of ash and should not be worn while swimming. There’s also a paper turtle that is a small urn designed for an ash scattering ceremony in water. The urns are made in Haiti from newspaper and paper bags and hold just a couple of tablespoons of ashes. The biodegradable urns became available after the earthquake in Haiti as a way for the natives to help rebuild after the devastation.

I am his youngest daughter out of eight children, and I live the furthest away. As a born and bred Ohioan, he was very true to his faith and himself. He struggled and worked very hard throughout his life to provide a home for his family. I know it wasn’t always easy, but he did his best.

When I got the call that he was in the hospital, life stood still. My mother was out here in California visiting, so she flew home immediately. I went back a few days later when things were looking grim. I wanted the chance to say good-bye. I remember sitting at his bedside, talking about my family, which at the time consisted of only my husband and I. The previous year, my daughter passed away at birth, so I was all too familiar with the pain and grief of losing a close family member.

He asked me when we were going to try again for another child, specifically a grandson. I told him when the time was right, we would try for another baby. I don’t remember much of the conversation, although it turned out to be our last. He had surgery the following morning and slipped into a coma. He died three days later.

After the funeral, the words of him wanting me to have another baby rang through my soul. I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it was time. And it was. Two days after his funeral, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. She’s feisty, loves Johnny Cash music and dislikes pizza — all of the qualities that stood out in my father. If I didn’t believe in the circle of life, I did the day she was born. As for the grandson he wanted me to have? He came along a few years later and carries my father’s name as his middle name very proud!

About the author: Mary Beth Adomaitis is a freelance writer living in Southern California with her husband and two living children. After her daughter’s death in 2000, she began writing about Death and Dying topics as a way helping others going through the tragic loss of a child. She can be reached at mba317@mac.com

Last month I wrote:

He was sensitive, almost to a fault. He was caring and giving. He was cold and unyielding. He was a charmer and a cruel man, heartfelt and heartless.

I pulled out this photo, this memento mori, for a couple reasons. It is the only picture I have of my father and the three sons he had with my mother; my father’s wife pulled out her camera not long after we had all arrived and said, “This will be the last time you boys are together with your daddy.”

If I do not understand him or make my peace with him I’ll be stranded in the thorny forest and the boon will elude me. This I know for certain…

About the author: Ron Davis is a writer and news producer and resides in Springfield, MO.

Lockets for ashes are unique expressions of love and devotion to the person who died. As cremation becomes a more popular choice for people, the demand for jewelry such as lockets, also increases.

Cremation lockets come in a variety of styles and designs. Instead of ashes, many of these cremation lockets can also hold small keepsakes such as pressed flowers, locks of hair or sand from a favorite beach. They come in gold or silver and chains are typically not included. There are also lockets available for pets’ ashes as well.

Cremation jewelry such as lockets for ashes also lets families hold on to a piece of their loved ones. Since so many families are mobile and don’t stay in one place forever, being able to take a piece of their deceased loved one just makes sense. You can take a locket or pendant with you wherever you go!

Joplin is only 70 miles from us and I’ll never forget stepping out on the porch after the storm passed, looking up to see dark skies behind me and a double rainbow breaking through in the East. It was one of the most moving sights I’ve ever seen.

It was a good reminder about rising above the storm to find the sunshine. That rainbow was so inspiring that we developed an urn that symbolizes the beauty that can come from turbulence.  As humans we’re always seeking it, aren’t  we? The rainbow urn is an adult size urn that is solid metal and is hand painted on a high gloss background.   Very pretty and isn’t gender specific.

For families that want a biodegradable option, there’s also a rainbow themed urn for scattering ashes. Here’s hoping you don’t have a need for a cremation urn, but if your loved one was inspired by the sheer power of Mother Nature this style might be the right choice.

image source Joplin rainbow

Here’s a little history lesson. Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day in honor of the men who died during the Civil War. However, by the 1860s, since various towns across the country held their own memorial ceremonies, it became obvious to dedicate one day out of the year to this cause. So it became, as ordered by Gen. John Logan, that the first Memorial Day commemoration was held on May 30, 1868. At that time, flowers were placed on the graves of both Union and Confederate solders buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

It took about 20 years for the Northern states to recognize this holiday, and it wasn’t until after World War I ended that Southern states joined forces with their counterparts to celebrate Memorial Day together. It also became that this holiday was to honor all Americans who died fighting in any war. In 1971, Congress declared the final Monday in May as a national Memorial Day holiday. Some of the nation’s Southern states still memorialize Civil War solders in separate ceremonies.

Today, Memorial Day is celebrated in many ways. Drive by any cemetery, and you will see American flags adorning the graves of war veterans. Hometown parades pay tribute with patriotic music and marching bands. And then there’s National Moment of Remembrance. At 3 p.m. local time, everyone is asked to take a few minutes to honor those men and women who died in combat. What do you do to celebrate Memorial Day?

With the arrival of Spring, thoughts turn to the beauty of the blooming outdoors and the tasks of cleaning up flower beds and tidying up the lawn.  Some of our clients are planning to reserve a small space in their gardens for a memorial stone to pay tribute to a loved one. One family chose to pair a memorial stone with a planting of daisies to commemorate an April birthday. Another client chose a natural river rock stone personalized with baseball artwork to honor a brother who loved the sport.   In addition to high quality marble or granite, the river rock can be engraved with names, dates, and artwork to reflect hobbies or passions.  Sometimes stepping stones are used as a path marker or placed around a bird bath to create a serene setting for wildlife.

Small plaques with a poem or verse could be mounted on the wall or desktop for those that don’t have a lawn or the time to maintain a garden and want to create a memorial on a smaller scale indoors. You could combine live potted plants, silk arrangements of favorite flowers, photos, or framed mementos to add interest and keep the memory alive.

These ornamental trees originated in China but were cultivated in Japan during the 8th century. Weeping cherry trees gained popularity in the United States after World War II when Japan’s government donated thousands of trees as a symbol of friendship. Many were planted in the Washington, DC area and are the focus of the National Cherry Blossom Festival each year.

However, weeping cherry trees, much like other ornamental trees, are becoming more widely used as gifts to families after their loved one dies. They offer the bereaved a chance to plant a living memorial and watch as the trees grow and bloom, honoring the lives that were lost. They typically come packaged ready for planting, along with care instructions.

Ornamental trees are grown mainly for their aesthetic value and are traditionally seen in gardens or in large downtown areas where their color and texture bring an essence of beauty to the surroundings. When given as a memorial or funeral gift, these trees provide comfort year-round as opposed to flowers that live for only a few weeks.

If you are planning to give a loved one an ornamental tree as a memorial gift, keep in mind that you will want to present it after the funeral is over. Special gifts such as this can get mixed up with other flowers and plants at the funeral home, and the bereaved person may not realize what he or she received.

You will also want to make sure the tree is indigenous to the climate in which it will be planted. For example, a weeping cherry tree may do well in most areas of the United States except perhaps in the desert region of the Western states.

She had high hopes for her son, so smart and handsome. But the last few years, he had been in and out of rehab and was in the process of completing treatment that spring. The facility was out of state and when in contact with his mother he sounded bright about his future and looked forward to coming home and working in the family business. A fresh start.

He never left town. Instead, his mother received the phone call that no one wants. Her son’s body had been discovered in a known drug house and arrangements needed to be made to bring him home.  My friend was shattered and broken. Physically, she’s a strong woman and during this terrible time she could barely stand.

When I saw her a year later she said she was day to day and realized that she would never understand the power of addiction. She needed to remain strong not only for herself, but for the rest of her family. She’s more spiritual than religious and practices healthy eating and vigorous exercise which helped move her through the stages of grief and to realize that she couldn’t save her son. She couldn’t make every choice for this young man. He chose to go to that bad neighborhood. He chose to get high instead of getting on the plane to come home. The family had supported him and  provided the tools and resources to help which makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow.  A memorial service for your son on Mother’s Day? Does not compute.